Friday, October 25, 2013

10/25/13 Giving Thanks!

Dear Friends and Family,

Gabrielle here.  Our hearts are overflowing with joy to tell you the news that my five-month CA-125 test today was 12.5!  That is DOWN from the July test number of 13.4!!  As you will recall, the normal range for any healthy woman off the street is 0 to 30.  I am below the middle of normal.  We are so relieved and thankful to God! 

I have been feeling really great lately.  I have good energy (about 90% of pre-cancer energy) and am able to exercise at my pre-cancer levels.  Some of you know that I am a fast walker and recently, my friends have been telling me to slow down.  What an amazing thing this is after earlier this year I could barely walk up and down the stairs in my house a couple of times a day.  And on November 1, I will be returning to my 80% work schedule at SPU, working full days Mondays through Thursdays.  This past two months I've been at 70% time. 

Next month I have been asked to speak and give my personal "story of thanks" at SPU's all-campus Thanksgiving Chapel.  I wish I could speak for an hour because I have so much to say on this subject!  Unfortunately, they only gave me six minutes.  What were they thinking??  How can I condense the last year's worth of my thankfulness into six minutes?!  I will do my best.  If any of you would like to attend this Chapel, it will be held on November 26 at 11:00 AM in the First Free Methodist Church main sanctuary.  Free hugs afterwards for anyone who comes!  :-)

Thanks be to God for wanting to keep me around a bit longer (!) and thanks to all of you, my dear friends and family, for your continual prayers on my behalf and your frequent inquiries into how I am doing.  We love you all.

"Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."  Eph. 5:19-20

Love,
Gabrielle

P.S. Thinking of making music in our hearts to the Lord, here's a fun video from pre-cancer days--Daniel and me dancing to "The Monster Mash" while Renee films on her phone and laughs!  :-)

http://vimeo.com/24887010




Saturday, September 21, 2013

9/21/13 Happy Fall!


Dear Family and Friends,

Well, the gray skies arrived today, after a most beautiful summer and early September, as we welcome in the first day of Fall tomorrow.  After a very active summer, I am ready for the cooler days, big pots of soup, and curling up with some good books.

After my GLORIOUS normal CA125 blood tumor marker test in July, all four Dudleys had a fun trip to the San Juan Islands on our boat in August.  We spent one night with friends, Howard and Nancy, having fun eating great food and fishing, and then explored on our own for a couple of days, with hikes at Sucia and Jones islands.  Last weekend Steve and I went to Crater Lake for the first time.  Below are some pictures from that trip.  We were blessed with nice weather and we SWAM in that cold lake, jumping off rocks into the cleanest, clearest water we have ever seen.  You can drink the lake as you swim!  It's that pure.  You can't look at Crater Lake without seeing the majesty of God's design and creativity.  It was spectacular. 

The final picture below is of my one little inch of new hair.  Man--I never knew how slowly hair grows!  It is growing in thick, and brown (not gray!), but totally straight.  My previous hair had been kind of wavy.  But believe me, I don't care at all.  To have any hair is a wonder to me and I will try to never complain of a bad hair day ever again!

In other Dudley family news, Renee is interviewing for jobs with nonprofits in town.  Please pray she will get just the right one.  She is pretty awesome at interviews and already got offered one job.  Unfortunately, after learning more about it, she needed to turn that one down, as it didn't feel like the right fit to her.  And Daniel is already in his fourth week of medical school!  He had a huge anatomy exam yesterday on everything you can find in the head and neck.  I guess there is a LOT of stuff in there!  Afterwards, the school hosted the first year students for a pizza party to celebrate their survival of that exam.  So it's off to the races for junior doctor Dudley. 

As to my health, I am feeling pretty well, overall.  I am at about 90% energy, and have been so delighted to be able to hike and swim and travel this summer.  Thanks be to God!  Though I'm physically doing well, emotionally, the post-chemo days have been pretty rough.  Once you quit chemo, and there are no more drugs killing cancer cells, you begin to fear that any "chemo-resistant cancer cells" that might be in there are beginning to grow again.  Every ache or pain you experience, you get a pang of fear that cancer is returning.  It is a constant psychological and spiritual battle EVERY day.  I tell myself "you don't have cancer TODAY."  "You are not going to die TODAY, so quit worrying and enjoy the day."  And of course, I pray continually and ask God to help me "run with perseverance the race marked out for me, looking unto Jesus..."  It always comes back to "eyes on Jesus" to get through each day.  And of course, I am fully engaged in looking for joy in each and every day, and with seeing each day as a total gift from God.  I hope you are too! 

My next CA125 test is October 25.  Please pray for another normal test and for continued remission.  Thank you!  May God bless you and hold you close through whatever trials you are facing.  If I can pray for you for something specific you are going through, I would be honored to do so, as your prayers and support were such a lifeline for me.  Just let me know!

Love,
Gabrielle




Steve on the rocks at Crater Lake.  Chilly, refreshing and so pure you can drink it.


Toketee Falls, along the North Fork of the Umpqua River.  Many people think this is the most beautiful waterfall in Oregon.  A "must see"!


Some guy I met on the crater rim drive.  He offered to show me a good time.  Wizard Island in the background. 
A few of the many pinnacles we saw along one of the drives just below the rim.  They are actually fossilized fumaroles.  Has something to do with steam vents when the volcano erupted.  They are hollow inside and the most bizarre things you could ever imagine.  We thought we had stepped into a Dr. Seuss book and kept looking for some guy named Sam I Am holding a plate of green eggs and ham.


I love my hair!  Sure beats the "fresh from chemo" look!  It is coming in straight, a little lighter and not one gray hair in the bunch (but if there was, I wouldn't tell).  But, boy does it grow slowly!  Anyone got some Miracle Gro I can try?

Saturday, August 10, 2013

8/10/13 Dancing the coast of Maine

Hello! This is Daniel. I just want to say thank you once again to all of you out there, some of whom I know, some whom I may never know, who have kept my mom in your thoughts and prayers this year. I am convinced that this loving support and consistent prayer has played an instrumental role in her healing journey. You have all given our family hope, joy, laughter, support, sympathy, and compassion. Thank you for being with us through the darkest hour, which at the time seemed like it would never pass. Now we can all celebrate together, because my mom is healthy, happy, and cancer-free! To celebrate her victorious completion of 19 weeks of chemotherapy we went on a celebratory trip to the coast of Maine, where none of us had ever been before. It was truly a wonderful time to relax, and play, and celebrate the wonderful Gabrielle! We saw lots of amazing lighthouses, ate lots of lobster (it's so cheap over there!), and of course we did some dancing! If you have ever worked with Gabrielle, you probably know she loves to dance, and of course it has rubbed off on the rest of us. I hope you like this video I put together, "Dancing with Lighthouses".
Thanks again for your love and support! Praise the Lord for my mom's healing! -Daniel 

Dancing with Lighthouses



Tuesday, July 23, 2013

7/23/13 July 2013 Update: First post-cancer CA125 results!

Dear Family and Friends,

It is with a smile on my face and immense gratitude in my heart, to God and all of you who have prayed for me, that I report my "passing grade" on my first post-cancer CA-125 test!  As you may remember, the "normal" scale for the ovarian cancer tumor marker in a woman's blood is 0 to 30.  My score yesterday was a 13.4!!!  Smack dab in the middle of normal!

This first test score weighed heavily on our family's minds and hearts because you don't know what will happen once you no longer have the weekly chemo that has been destroying your cancer cells.  Did it miss a few?  Are they multiplying like crazy again?  This great score tells us my cancer remains firmly in remission, and allows us to relax, breathe, and live each day to the fullest for another three months until the next test comes along. 

Since we last blogged, we "took a break from cancer" to celebrate the end of the long surgery/chemo journey.  The four of us enjoyed a wonderful trip to the coast of Maine where I believe we saw just about every lighthouse and ate just about every lobster and gourmet ice cream cone on that 350-mile stretch of coast we covered!  If you love sandy and rocky beaches, quaint little towns and coves filled with fishing boats, and the aforementioned lighthouses, lobster, and ice cream, then go to the coast of Maine!!!

Last weekend Steve and I travelled to San Diego for our nephew's wedding.  It was a beautiful wedding and great chance for Steve and I to go on walks and lay on a sandy beach in the sunshine doing absoultely nothing (didn't even bring a book to the beach).  We also hit the pool with enthusiasm as we are both training (along with Renee) for a Children's Hospital fund-raising swim on Aug. 25.  It is 1.4 miles across Lake Washington and I am up to 45 minutes of continuous swimming so far.  Need to get to one hour, 15 minutes before the race (I think I can, I think I can...).

I have also returned to work at SPU!  Just three days a week to start.  The first week back, I would get home from work and collapse on the couch before I could even think about helping with dinner.  Did you know that if you remain collapsed on the couch long enough, your husband, son, or some other kindly person visiting your home might end up making dinner for you?!  ;-)  But each week I feel my strength returning, about 5% per week, I would estimate.  By September, I hope to be strong enough to resume my normal four-day work weeks. 

I can't tell you what joy it brings me to go to work, ride on an airplane without getting sick, to work out again to near my previous levels of fitness, and to EAT all the foods that I couldn't tolerate during chemo, including last night's splurge of king salmon with some friends...king salmon being my all-time favorite protein.  It was also a joy to go crabbing and to catch so much that we could give crab cakes away to family and friends and take a crab meal to a family just beginning their cancer journey (surgery over, but chemo yet to start).  To be able to give again, and not just be on the receiving end of so much love and kindness, is both humbling and heart-warming.  Thank you, Lord!

I will try to get Daniel to add some photos to this blog post later this week and then we will blog again in August.  Until then, bless you for your continued prayers for the nerve pain in my feet (a long-term side-effect of chemo) and that my cancer will remain FIRMLY in remission.  I hope you are having a wonderful summer, wherever you live, and that you will find moments (or big huge hunks) of joy in each and every day of your life this summer!

Love,
Gabrielle

Monday, June 3, 2013

6/3/13 Celebrating!

Dear Family and Friends,

I'm sorry I haven't written sooner to tell you how overjoyed I am to be done with cancer treatments...but I've been so busy celebrating, I haven't had a second to touch the computer until now! 

Final chemo #18 on Friday was so much fun.  I know--how weird is that to call chemo fun?!  But Daniel and I and everyone at the Seattle Women's Cancer Care Center were celebrating that my chemo was ending.  They sang to me and blew off those New Year's paper poppers.  Then we ate chocolate raspberry cake from Simply Desserts (my favorite cake bakery in the world).  We couldn't even finish a Scrabble game because everyone kept coming in and hugging me and congratulating us.  And we gave hand-written note cards and Molly Moon's ice cream gift cards to the six people on the team to whom we owe a huge debt of gratitude for helping me through.  They loved getting those!

Since then, I feel as if I am floating and need to pinch myself with how surreal it feels to be done.  To have plucked the last pink paper chain ring from the banister.  To not have to return to get blood work checked until July 19.  Seven glorious weeks of life ahead with no visit to the cancer center.  And knowing that each day will bring back my strength, my taste buds, my hair--it's all too wonderful for words.

The four of us went out to dinner Friday night to celebrate at my favorite Mediterranean restaurant--The Mediterranean Kitchen in Bellevue.  After, it was a sunny evening and we walked about the beautiful park near Bel Square.  On Saturday we went to the Saturday farmer's market in Edmonds and then out for a boat ride on Lake Union.  And on Sunday we took the boat to Blake Island with my sister and her husband where we picnicked, laid on blankets on the beach talking, and hiked the island trails.  What a great weekend of celebrating the start of cancer remission.  Thanks be to God!

From this point on, I will need to have my chest port flushed every six weeks (or seven this first go around), and every 12th week they will also check my CA125 to keep it "under surveillance" and make sure it remains in the normal range of 0 to 30.  They will keep the port in for a minimum of two years (!) just in case we need it again.  Those words send shivers through my spine!

Will you please continue to pray for me that we won't need the port again?  That I will be in the "statistical group" for whom this cancer will not recur?  I  know recurrence is a possibility.  I had a very advanced stage of this dreadful cancer.  But each day I pray that God will allow me to see Daniel graduate from medical school, to see Renee and Daniel get married, to know and be a blessing in the lives of my grandchildren, and to be there for my beloved husband, Steve, in our old age. 

And while I lift that prayer to God each day, I also ask Him to help me trust Him when fear of the future creeps in.  To focus on the gift of the present day and not waste the days God is giving me now on worry about things that may or may not occur later.  I know Who holds the future and He can be trusted with all of it.  He has proved that time and again.

When the disciples were afraid on the Mount of Transfiguration it says "But Jesus came and touched them.  'Get up,' he said.  'Don't be afraid.'  When they looked up, they saw no one except Jesus."

And it all boils down to that.  The words my friend, Loretta, gave me right at the start of this difficult journey.  "Eyes on Jesus," she said.  How right she was (is)!

Love,
Gabrielle

P.S.  Thank you all so much for reading our blog and praying for me/us these past five months.  We felt every prayer and were encouraged with every card, meal, and kindness.  Please continue to pray for smooth remission sailing and we will update the blog from time to time to stay in touch.  We estimate we will write about once a month moving forward (so we won't have to think/focus on cancer "too" often in this surveillance period)!  We love you all and could not be more grateful for our magnificent "rope team!"  :-)

Friday, May 31, 2013

5/31/13 To my wife on this, her last chemo day.


Dearest Gabrielle,

Well, today’s the day, the one we have been eagerly awaiting since way back in January when we started this journey.  It seems so long ago.  In a few hours, you will pack your trusty chemo bag with your special blanket, snacks, hand-held Scrabble and People magazines and head off for your eighteenth and final treatment.

I want to take this moment to tell you how proud I have been of you in all of this.  From Day One, you have faced this pesky little problem with tremendous grace, courage and dignity.  Your resolve in fighting cancer has never wavered and your joy has shone like a beacon of hope.  You have been such an inspiration, not only to me but to countless people out there whose lives you have touched.  At a time when you have been at your most vulnerable, you have made it a priority to reach out and minister to others, helping them with words of wisdom, encouragement, thoughts and prayers.

The thing that has most struck me is your amazing faith and trust in God.  Your inner faith shines through so beautifully in your words, your blog entries and your calm demeanor throughout this journey.  Anger?  At a time when you have every right to be angry at God, that is not something that I have observed in you. You have an unwavering faith that God is on His throne and holds you in the palm of His hand and that wherever this journey takes you, God is there with you.  What better place to be?

You have reminded me of this verse from Isaiah and which I give back to you:

When you pass through the (deep) waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
Is. 43:2-3

Please indulge me one more passage from the Bible.  This one is a little paraphrase of mine from Psalm 91.  It goes like this:

Psalm. 91.  Gabrielle who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Gabrielle will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."  Surely he will save Gabrielle from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover Gabrielle with his feathers, and under his wings Gabrielle will find refuge; his faithfulness will be Gabrielle’s shield and rampart.  Gabrielle will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.  A thousand may fall at Gabrielle’s side, ten thousand at Gabrielle’s right hand, but it will not come near Gabrielle.  If Gabrielle makes the Most High her dwelling—even the LORD, who is Gabrielle’s refuge—then no harm will befall Gabrielle, no disaster will come near Gabrielle.  For he will command his angels concerning Gabrielle to guard Gabrielle in all Gabrielle’s ways; they will lift Gabrielle up in their hands, so that Gabrielle will not strike Gabrielle’s foot against a stone. Gabrielle will tread upon the lion and the cobra; Gabrielle will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves Gabrielle," says the LORD, "I will rescue Gabrielle; I will protect Gabrielle, for Gabrielle acknowledges my name.  Gabrielle will call upon me, and I will answer Gabrielle; I will be with Gabrielle in trouble, I will deliver Gabrielle and honor Gabrielle. With long life will I satisfy Gabrielle and show Gabrielle my salvation.  Psalm 91, RSV*

(* Revised Steve Version)

Good stuff, huh?  It is almost as good as my favorite Bible verse: “Now, Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, did great wonders and miraculous signs” Acts 6:8.  Not sure why I like that one so much.  For some reason, it just speaks to me.  But that’s just a little aside.

I have been blessed to have you as my wife for over 30 years.  My love for you has never been deeper than it has been right now as we face this struggle together.  You are a champion and I admire you so much.  Thank you for everything.  Now, get into that ring and kick the stuffing out of cancer one more time!  Looking forward to a big celebration when all this is said and done and while you’re still hopped up on steroids.  Did someone say Mexican food??

Love,

Steve

p.s.  And, of course, a major thank you to Renee and Daniel who have been so amazing throughout this as well. You are the best children I could ever hope to have.  I feel so blessed and humbled to be your dad. 

p.p.s.  As for the rest of our “rope team”, a big thanks to you as well.  We could not have done it without each and every one of you.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

5/26/13 Scrabble champ!

Steve

As Gabrielle may have alluded to on more than one occassion, she loves Scrabble.  It's a great way to kill time during chemo (or any other time, for that matter) as she schools Daniel or me (or anyone else wandering by) in this game of wit and verbal creativity.  She may have also mentioned that most of the time, she wins (though I did manage to eke out a rare victory on Friday).  She LOVES to win!  What she may have not told you is that I secretly photographed some recent sessions she has had with the Scrabble board, and am including them here for your perusal.  She also seems to think that having cancer means that she can make new Scrabble rules and has made two:

1.  The words don't have to touch.
2.  You can use any letter you want as a blank if you run out of the letters you need.

So here they are:

On this game, for some reason, I was the one playing words like "I" and "no", while she came up with "fighter" and "no quitter" and "butt".  Needless to say, she cleaned my clock on this round.  I protested over the word "butt", saying it was a little too racey for a family game like Scrabble.  I tried to make my own rule of: no "ifs, ands or butts", but she shot me down.  I guess you get veto power of new rules if you're the one getting chemo (emoticon wink inserted here....I don't know how to make those little doodads).


It's really hard to beat her when she gets the "x" and "z" and comes up with such nifty words.  I made "and", "on" and "can-er" (that's cancer, not canker, though it would be nice to be zapping the pesky canker sore I'm dealing with right now).



I thought I had her on this one, as I knew that the one who is supposed to hit the road is "Jack", but then she throws a curve ball at me and tells Zeke to hit the road.  I protested, to which she waved a "Q" in my face and told me that she could have told "Zaraq" to hit the road.  That shut me up.


I will leave it to your imagination as to what Gabrielle was thinking when she played those four blanks.  She just got a big grin on her face when she played them.  Rear?  Heck?  Snot?  Butt?  Can't think of anything else that might fit there...like I said, this is a family friendly game.


Can't argue with that!


Yep, thought I had her again when I threw the "nada" on at the end of her "nothing", then she pulls out her last letters and plays them on the triple word score...nothing like using your "z" in a triple.  I had no chance.  Perhaps this one should have read, "Steve...what are his chances of winning at Scrabble?  Nothing.  Nada.  Zip."


Good, positive thoughts.  Short game, but I couldn't think of anything to add after "cancer", so we called it good. 


There she is, playing a high scoring letter over the triple word score again.  Mega, mega points!  I couldn't protest too loudly at her good fortune to score so well.  After all, who wouldn't want a triple serving of Jesus at a time like this?  Or any time at all, for that matter?



And with that, we called it a day!

So, if any of you out there want to take her on, be my guest.  This is especially true if you like having your clock cleaned by Gabrielle.  Fortunately, she takes the same winning attitude into her chemo sessions and is closing in on being done with the whole shooting match.  Perhaps I should add "eyes on the prize".  Any way you slice it, she's a formidable opponent...mini golf, Scrabble, ovarian cancer.  It picked the wrong person to take on, that's what I say.

And with that, I'm going to sign out, eat some shrimp, and study the Scrabble dictionary.