Tuesday, November 17, 2015

11/17/15 MRI was today

Hey, friends!  Guest blogger Steve here.  Long time, no write...thought I would give you a break, but now I'm back with a brief update. 
There's a silly folk song about "the cat came back", which is actually a scream, especially if you don't like cats (and perhaps even if you do).  The narrator talks about all the things he or his pals do to the cat, but it always comes back, usually the very next day.  You see, they thought he was a goner, but he wouldn't stay away.  I am sure you have heard it.  If not, thank heavens for You Tube (try the Muppets version...it is especially good).  Boy the things people did to that poor little cat, but he always managed to come back.  You get my drift.
Well, it's funny if it's a cat.  Not so funny if it's cancer which comes back.  Darnit.  Well, it's back, and we are going to be just as dogged at getting rid of it as those people in that song.  If it comes back, we'll do something else.  In the song, a guy pays a kid a dollar to get rid of the cat.  I won't say how...it's morbid.  In our case, that verse would start out, "So she showed her health insurance card to the pharmacy tech who mixed up some poison in just the right amount..."  Yep, that's what we're doing, poisoning this cancer. 
So, here my hero Gabrielle is starting a fresh round of chemo this week (Doxil) with a much more intrepid "can do" attitude than I could ever hope to muster.  I don't know much about Doxil other than three things: 1.  It is supposed to help knock back that persistent cancer (see "the cat came back" stuff above).  2.  It is starting to make her hair thin, even after a few short days.  3.  For some reason it has made her better at Scrabble.  I don't know what the mechanism is for any of these things, just observations I have noted (doctors love to know about mechanisms of how things work).
On top of that, she has had horrible pain in her right hip bone (actually the ileum) for several days, which was getting concerning for possible bony spread of the cancer.  She has been fairly miserable the past few days and has had to resort to taking a few stronger pills than aspirin.  This morning, she had an MRI of the hip.  Turns out, the bones look good!  Praise God!  The source of the pain was an inflamed butt muscle tendon (that's the lay term for it).  Yep, the ol' gluteus was the culprit!  In the next few days, she hopes to get a steroid injection to quiet things down. 
We have been quite uplifted that the scan was good and that this was just a little bump in the road.  At the same time, we have several friends who have not seen such favorable results with their medical tests, so we like to remember them in our prayers as well.  So that's it for now. 
Wishing you all the best on this blustery November day.  And remember, Thanksgiving is coming soon.  So much to be thankful for, even amidst the hard times. 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

11/10/15 Cold feet!

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday I sat in the chemo chair for 3.5 hours, with Daniel letting me win at Scrabble, and chemo number one out of six is done!  I reacted with some nausea in the afternoon and evening, but still, popped an anti-nausea pill and went on a four mile walk.  Better living through drugs!


Today, on day two of this cycle, I have felt quite well.  I got in another one-hour walk, with hills, and haven't needed one anti-nausea pill yet!  


What I DO have to endure, however, is cold hands and feet for the next six months.  The best way to prevent hand and foot syndrome, where your skin gets a rash and blisters then peels off (!) is to wear loose, cotton clothing, and to keep your hands and feet cold and moisturized all day.  So I don't wear socks at home and continually apply lotion on my hands and feet.  I also sip ice water and swish with salt water all day to help prevent mouth sores.  


As usual with cancer, there is good news and bad news.  The good news is that my echocardiogram showed that my heart is in good shape!  This is good because Doxil can be harmful to your heart in rare cases.  The bad news is that the CT scan of my lungs showed the cancer has spread to my lungs.  The spots are small, but they are there and they are new from previous scans.  The doctor's take on this is "if the chemo works (my new drug, Doxil), it will work both on the cancer in my abdomen AND in my lungs.  So our prayer request is that the chemo will work on ALL the cancer!  


As the doctor showed me the scan of the spots in my lungs, at first I was fearful and about to tear up.  But then I pictured Jesus standing there--in front of me, behind me, and beside me.  Encompassing me completely with His peace, and calming my fear.  And this entire week, I have been meditating on the song "In Christ Alone," and feeling peace knowing that God controls my destiny from life's first cry to final breath.  Thanks be to God.  Here are the song lyrics for you.  May some of the words speak to you and bless you today!



In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I stand.

Standing in His power,
Gabrielle
Instead of a photo of me, here is a photo of my sweet godson, and great-nephew, Jericho. He fills me with joy!

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

11/3/15 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Dear Family and Friends,

Dickens was right.  Life sometimes takes you swiftly from good times to bad, and sometimes you experience both at the same time.

On September 26, Steve and I flew from Seattle to Istanbul, where we spent the next nine days experiencing the thrill of touring in Turkey and the Greek Islands.  Almost immediately on arriving in Turkey, however, my stomach began to hurt.  It wasn't just pain, but also a feeling of indigestion, heartburn, and extreme fullness after eating even small meals.  We hoped I had picked up a bug or was having some simple gastritis (inflamed stomach lining), so we bought some Prilosec at a Greek pharmacy to reduce the acid production in my stomach.  While it didn't stop my symptoms, it calmed them enough that I was able to notice them, but also keep my concerns on the back burner as we left Greece for Spain, where Daniel would join us.  


During two beautiful weeks in sunny Spain, the symptoms continued, and I began to worry that my cancer might be back.  Despite my worries, with God's help, I fully immersed myself into the joy of walks, hikes, Mediterranean swims, and drives around the Costa Blanca region of Spain.  When Steve returned to Seattle, Daniel and I continued in Spain and then ended our trip with five days in London.  While exploring British museums and parks and seeing plays at night, I began to realize my stomach symptoms were ever present and were most likely cancer.  Upon arriving home, a CT scan confirmed my suspicions.  My ovarian cancer is back for the third time.


The good news is, the cancer is not in my internal organs.  My liver, kidneys, pancreas, gallbladder, and upper colon look pretty amazing for a 55-year-old!  Unfortunately though, it is in some abdominal lymph nodes which have significantly grown since March.  One of these enlarged lymph nodes presses on my pancreas and one presses on my aorta and vena cava.  The presence of these cancerous lymph nodes taking up space in my abdominal cavity seems to be causing my stomach symptoms.  And of course, you don't want the cancer to travel from your lymph nodes to any other part of the body!


Thus, I begin my third chemo regimen on Monday.  We will be using a time release chemo drug called Doxil this time, administered through the port in my chest once every four weeks.  We will re-scan in three to four months to see how it is working.  The potential side effects are nausea, hair loss, heart damage (no thanks!), and a thing where your hands, feet, and armpits get sore rashes and peeling skin.  Please pray that the Doxil will kill the cancer and that I will experience minimal side effects.  Thank you!


Additional good news is that to avoid the armpit skin symptoms, I am to avoid anything that will make my arm rub against my armpit, including VACUUMING, SWEEPING, AND DOING DISHES!  Woo hoo!  I've got a "get out of housework free" card for the foreseeable future!  :-)  Poor Steve, Renee, and Daniel...


I enter this "hat trick" round of chemo with a lot of gratitude.  I'm thankful for the wonderful time in Europe that preceded my new diagnosis and shored me up for what lies ahead.  I'm thankful for an expert gynecological oncologist who always knows exactly what to do when I have a recurrence.  I am thankful for good strength going into the chemo from all the exercise I had in Europe.  I'm blessed with great friends from so many sectors of my life who are faithful in praying for me, and who have offered to help us with whatever we may need, such as meals or a little housecleaning now and then.  I have the world's best husband and kids in Steve, Renee, and Daniel, who love me fiercely and will care for me with the utmost devotion and compassion.  And last, but most important of all, I have a 40-year strong faith in God, Who will never leave me or forsake me and Who will continue to help and sustain us through the unwelcome journey of cancer just as He has in the last two years.


I close with the song that keeps playing in my head, and the joy in knowing that despite my health challenges, it is well with my soul.



  1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
    It is well, it is well with my soul.
    • Refrain:
      It is well with my soul,
      It is well, it is well with my soul.
  2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
    Let this blest assurance control,
    That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
    And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
  3. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
    My sin, not in part but the whole,
    Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
    Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
  4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
    If Jordan above me shall roll,
    No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
    Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
  5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
    The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
    Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
    Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
  6. And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    Even so, it is well with my soul.

Love,
Gabrielle

P.S.  Let's end with some Europe photos!

Philippi, Turkey. The Apostle Paul was imprisoned in this spot.

Virgin Mary's House near Ephesus

Colosseum at Ephesus where Apostle Paul spoke

Colossus of Rhodes

Our Regent Seven Seas Mariner cruise ship!

Altea, Spain vegetable market with my aunt Julianne!

The colorful town of Villajoyosa, Spain

Eating fresh, hot churros y chocolate at the famous Valor Chocolate shop

Walking around Altea, my aunt and uncle's Spanish town, at night

Hiking to a lighthouse in Albir, Spain

Alhambra in Granada, Spain

Uncle Oliver, Aunt Julianne, and me on my favorite beach at Villajoyosa

Pretty fall scene with fat pigeons at Regent's Park, London

Curtsey for the Queen at Buckingham Palace

Heaven on earth--the bakery at Harrods!

World's second largest Chihuly at Victoria and Albert Museum, London

Dressing to go into the Hagia Sophia Mosque in Istanbul

Mykonos, Greece

Ceiling of the Hagia Sophia Mosque

Kids in Istanbul having their "coming of age" celebrations dress like princes and princesses. Hagia Sophia in background.

A pretty mosque with gorgeous blue tiles everywhere

Spice Market in Istanbul

Our spacious room on the cruise ship!

Swimming on island of Crete. Visibility to 30 feet!

Everyone's favorite Greek Island--Santorini!

We hiked along the coast from town to town in Santorini!

Foxy husband on Island of Mykonos with it's red roofed windmills

Daniel and me on beach at Villajoyosa

Daniel on a hike in Spain

Every year we go to Altea we climb the spiderweb on Altea Beach!

Daniel and me on the beach promenade between Altea and Albir

Hiking I Fach in Calpe, Spain

Daniel with I Fach rock in background, Calpe

This is the life. Villajoyosa.

Along the waterfront in Altea

One of many views from the Altea Old Town hilltop where my aunt and uncle live

Apparently this is my deli in London!

Daniel didn't know what a phone booth was until he saw one in London

Our final London meal--world's best Indian food!

Last night in London we happened upon a red carpet movie premiere. Pictured here is movie actor Vin Diesel!




Wednesday, September 2, 2015

9/2/15 Enjoying Life!

Dear friends and family,

Happy September!  I hope you had a wonderful summer and are living life with gusto--treasuring the gift of each day.


In August, my family and I celebrated my one full year of remission from Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer!  Hallelujah, and praise the God in whom we live and move and have our being.  (Acts 17:28)


When I visited my oncologist in August, my CA-125 ovarian cancer blood tumor marker was normal, at 18 (normal is 0 to 30), and my physical exam was perfect.  I have felt well this summer, with about 80% of my strength and energy restored.  So the doctor said I didn't even need a CT scan!  I am cleared to continue enjoying life for the next three months, then I will see her again.  Yippee!  


We celebrated the good news of that exam with a week at our favorite beach--our peaceful place, where our bodies and souls get refreshed--Cannon Beach, Oregon.  At the end of this post you will find some trip photos.  As I look at these photos, my eyes well up with tears of joy at the blessing of this past healthy year spent enjoying the gift of my loving family and friends.  To have the strength to hike mountain trails, walk the beach, ride my bike, and play with babies this summer has been exhilarating! And to be able to eat anything I want without nausea--well that's pretty awesome too!


As some of you know, my oncologist had me take early retirement from my 30-year career in nonprofit fund raising last year.  She said that a "low stress" life is one of my best hopes for living longer.  Thus, I finally have time to volunteer.  Today was my volunteer day this week at Seattle Children's Hospital where my "assignment" was to rock, play with, and sing to two tiny baby girls with so many tubes coming out of them I couldn't count them all.  Of course, as I read, sang, dangled toys, and rocked these sweet girls, I prayed silently that the Lord will heal them and give them a chance to grow up and lead full and healthy lives.  What a privilege it is to spend time with these babies while their parents need to work or just have a break from round-the-clock weeks spent in the hospital.  If you live in Seattle and want to volunteer, the Child Life Program I volunteer for needs more help!  Go online to Seattle Children's Volunteer Program and check it out.  You have to commit to three hours each week for a year.


I read a very encouraging article about ovarian cancer life expectancy research today.  After being told I might have just two to three years to live, here is what I read in a UC Davis cancer research article:


"Of the 11,541 patients in the registry database, 3,582 (31 percent) survived more than 10 years, Cress and her colleagues discovered. It was the first time that research has looked at 10-year trajectories for patients; most survival studies have looked only at 5-year survival or less. What struck the researchers was that of the long-term survivors, 954 of them had been considered to be at high risk of dying from their disease, either because of their tumor stage, grade or older age at diagnosis. 


Reading this research is really the first time I've even considered that I "could, potentially, maybe, if God wills it"--live more than 10 years!!  Will you join me in praying that I be in that 31% group that  lives longer than expected?  Thank you, and here's to the 31%!


Meanwhile, I just treasure each day as it comes.  Even this past week, when wind storms in Seattle left us without power on two different days and without internet or TV for three full days.  That first night, we lit about 30 candles and played scrabble while eating up ALL the melting ice cream in the too warm freezer!  Then the second day of no power, everyone was off to work except me, and I bundled up with a blanket and a great novel, sitting near the window for as much light as possible on a gray day.  I tell you--EVERY day--even days that contain some level of hardship, pain, or loss, is still a good day for me--for I am here to experience life in all it's joys and sorrows.  


Speaking of loss, I may have already mentioned that I lost my beloved cancer buddy, Jeanie, this summer.  She lost her battle with pancreatic cancer.  As I began to grieve her loss, I read a book on grief that said that grief is the "tax" we pay for loving.  When we love someone, we will one day grieve for them, for love and loss are two sides of the same coin.  You can't have one without the other.  I am trying to lean fully into the grief while remembering that it is the price I must pay for the precious gift of so much love and friendship. 


In closing, I have been studying the book of Philippians this summer.  There is a verse I aspire to.  It is something the Apostle Paul said when he was suffering in chains in prison for sharing the good news of Jesus.  This is my prayer too, as I continue in this ovarian cancer journey.  And it was Jeanie's.  


"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."  Phil. 1:20-21


Love, grace, and peace to you all,


Gabrielle


Selfie at Haystack Rock where my Mom's and Grandma's and Steve's Dad's ashes were scattered.  Very special place for us.


Renee, Daniel, and Steve hiking from Seaside to Ecola State Park.

After a long day at the beach, go to Nonni's in Seaside for their monster meatballs and spaghetti!

With Steve, my one true love of 33 years, and my rock through cancer.

Oh how I love hanging out with these three!

Steve, working on his tan in the sand dunes, where he is out of the wind.

It doesn't matter if your daughter is 27 and your son is 25.  He will still want to bury her in the sand!

Renee Dudley--the daughter I always dreamed of and love so very much!

Lucky me--a huge bowl of "nuts for coconut" ice cream with not one, but TWO fresh waffle cones!

One of life's best blessings--my dear friend Sally.  We met up for a beach walk in Lincoln City.

Never dreamed I would have a son this great.  Daniel--I love you!

And lastly, note my "Enjoy Life" t-shirt at a deserted beach in Ecola State Park.  Your assignment for the month of September:  Enjoy Life!