11/3/15 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Dear Family and Friends,

Dickens was right.  Life sometimes takes you swiftly from good times to bad, and sometimes you experience both at the same time.

On September 26, Steve and I flew from Seattle to Istanbul, where we spent the next nine days experiencing the thrill of touring in Turkey and the Greek Islands.  Almost immediately on arriving in Turkey, however, my stomach began to hurt.  It wasn't just pain, but also a feeling of indigestion, heartburn, and extreme fullness after eating even small meals.  We hoped I had picked up a bug or was having some simple gastritis (inflamed stomach lining), so we bought some Prilosec at a Greek pharmacy to reduce the acid production in my stomach.  While it didn't stop my symptoms, it calmed them enough that I was able to notice them, but also keep my concerns on the back burner as we left Greece for Spain, where Daniel would join us.  

During two beautiful weeks in sunny Spain, the symptoms continued, and I began to worry that my cancer might be back.  Despite my worries, with God's help, I fully immersed myself into the joy of walks, hikes, Mediterranean swims, and drives around the Costa Blanca region of Spain.  When Steve returned to Seattle, Daniel and I continued in Spain and then ended our trip with five days in London.  While exploring British museums and parks and seeing plays at night, I began to realize my stomach symptoms were ever present and were most likely cancer.  Upon arriving home, a CT scan confirmed my suspicions.  My ovarian cancer is back for the third time.

The good news is, the cancer is not in my internal organs.  My liver, kidneys, pancreas, gallbladder, and upper colon look pretty amazing for a 55-year-old!  Unfortunately though, it is in some abdominal lymph nodes which have significantly grown since March.  One of these enlarged lymph nodes presses on my pancreas and one presses on my aorta and vena cava.  The presence of these cancerous lymph nodes taking up space in my abdominal cavity seems to be causing my stomach symptoms.  And of course, you don't want the cancer to travel from your lymph nodes to any other part of the body!

Thus, I begin my third chemo regimen on Monday.  We will be using a time release chemo drug called Doxil this time, administered through the port in my chest once every four weeks.  We will re-scan in three to four months to see how it is working.  The potential side effects are nausea, hair loss, heart damage (no thanks!), and a thing where your hands, feet, and armpits get sore rashes and peeling skin.  Please pray that the Doxil will kill the cancer and that I will experience minimal side effects.  Thank you!

Additional good news is that to avoid the armpit skin symptoms, I am to avoid anything that will make my arm rub against my armpit, including VACUUMING, SWEEPING, AND DOING DISHES!  Woo hoo!  I've got a "get out of housework free" card for the foreseeable future!  :-)  Poor Steve, Renee, and Daniel...

I enter this "hat trick" round of chemo with a lot of gratitude.  I'm thankful for the wonderful time in Europe that preceded my new diagnosis and shored me up for what lies ahead.  I'm thankful for an expert gynecological oncologist who always knows exactly what to do when I have a recurrence.  I am thankful for good strength going into the chemo from all the exercise I had in Europe.  I'm blessed with great friends from so many sectors of my life who are faithful in praying for me, and who have offered to help us with whatever we may need, such as meals or a little housecleaning now and then.  I have the world's best husband and kids in Steve, Renee, and Daniel, who love me fiercely and will care for me with the utmost devotion and compassion.  And last, but most important of all, I have a 40-year strong faith in God, Who will never leave me or forsake me and Who will continue to help and sustain us through the unwelcome journey of cancer just as He has in the last two years.

I close with the song that keeps playing in my head, and the joy in knowing that despite my health challenges, it is well with my soul.

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well with my soul,
     It is well, it is well with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

Love,

Gabrielle

P.S.  Let's end with some Europe photos!

Philippi, Turkey. The Apostle Paul was imprisoned in this spot.

Virgin Mary's House near Ephesus

Colosseum at Ephesus where Apostle Paul spoke

Colossus of Rhodes

Our Regent Seven Seas Mariner cruise ship!

Altea, Spain vegetable market with my aunt Julianne!

The colorful town of Villajoyosa, Spain

Eating fresh, hot churros y chocolate at the famous Valor Chocolate shop

Walking around Altea, my aunt and uncle's Spanish town, at night

Hiking to a lighthouse in Albir, Spain

Alhambra in Granada, Spain

Uncle Oliver, Aunt Julianne, and me on my favorite beach at Villajoyosa

Pretty fall scene with fat pigeons at Regent's Park, London

Curtsey for the Queen at Buckingham Palace

Heaven on earth--the bakery at Harrods!

World's second largest Chihuly at Victoria and Albert Museum, London

Dressing to go into the Hagia Sophia Mosque in Istanbul

Mykonos, Greece

Ceiling of the Hagia Sophia Mosque

Kids in Istanbul having their "coming of age" celebrations dress like princes and princesses. Hagia Sophia in background.

A pretty mosque with gorgeous blue tiles everywhere

Spice Market in Istanbul

Our spacious room on the cruise ship!

Swimming on island of Crete. Visibility to 30 feet!

Everyone's favorite Greek Island--Santorini!

We hiked along the coast from town to town in Santorini!

Foxy husband on Island of Mykonos with it's red roofed windmills

Daniel and me on beach at Villajoyosa

Daniel on a hike in Spain

Every year we go to Altea we climb the spiderweb on Altea Beach!

Daniel and me on the beach promenade between Altea and Albir

Hiking I Fach in Calpe, Spain

Daniel with I Fach rock in background, Calpe

This is the life. Villajoyosa.

Along the waterfront in Altea

One of many views from the Altea Old Town hilltop where my aunt and uncle live

Apparently this is my deli in London!

Daniel didn't know what a phone booth was until he saw one in London

Our final London meal--world's best Indian food!

Last night in London we happened upon a red carpet movie premiere. Pictured here is movie actor Vin Diesel!

9/2/15 Enjoying Life!

Dear friends and family,

Happy September!  I hope you had a wonderful summer and are living life with gusto--treasuring the gift of each day.

In August, my family and I celebrated my one full year of remission from Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer!  Hallelujah, and praise the God in whom we live and move and have our being.  (Acts 17:28)

When I visited my oncologist in August, my CA-125 ovarian cancer blood tumor marker was normal, at 18 (normal is 0 to 30), and my physical exam was perfect.  I have felt well this summer, with about 80% of my strength and energy restored.  So the doctor said I didn't even need a CT scan!  I am cleared to continue enjoying life for the next three months, then I will see her again.  Yippee!  

We celebrated the good news of that exam with a week at our favorite beach--our peaceful place, where our bodies and souls get refreshed--Cannon Beach, Oregon.  At the end of this post you will find some trip photos.  As I look at these photos, my eyes well up with tears of joy at the blessing of this past healthy year spent enjoying the gift of my loving family and friends.  To have the strength to hike mountain trails, walk the beach, ride my bike, and play with babies this summer has been exhilarating! And to be able to eat anything I want without nausea--well that's pretty awesome too!

As some of you know, my oncologist had me take early retirement from my 30-year career in nonprofit fund raising last year.  She said that a "low stress" life is one of my best hopes for living longer.  Thus, I finally have time to volunteer.  Today was my volunteer day this week at Seattle Children's Hospital where my "assignment" was to rock, play with, and sing to two tiny baby girls with so many tubes coming out of them I couldn't count them all.  Of course, as I read, sang, dangled toys, and rocked these sweet girls, I prayed silently that the Lord will heal them and give them a chance to grow up and lead full and healthy lives.  What a privilege it is to spend time with these babies while their parents need to work or just have a break from round-the-clock weeks spent in the hospital.  If you live in Seattle and want to volunteer, the Child Life Program I volunteer for needs more help!  Go online to Seattle Children's Volunteer Program and check it out.  You have to commit to three hours each week for a year.

I read a very encouraging article about ovarian cancer life expectancy research today.  After being told I might have just two to three years to live, here is what I read in a UC Davis cancer research article:

"Of the 11,541 patients in the registry database, 3,582 (31 percent) survived more than 10 years, Cress and her colleagues discovered. It was the first time that research has looked at 10-year trajectories for patients; most survival studies have looked only at 5-year survival or less. What struck the researchers was that of the long-term survivors, 954 of them had been considered to be at high risk of dying from their disease, either because of their tumor stage, grade or older age at diagnosis. 

Reading this research is really the first time I've even considered that I "could, potentially, maybe, if God wills it"--live more than 10 years!!  Will you join me in praying that I be in that 31% group that  lives longer than expected?  Thank you, and here's to the 31%!

Meanwhile, I just treasure each day as it comes.  Even this past week, when wind storms in Seattle left us without power on two different days and without internet or TV for three full days.  That first night, we lit about 30 candles and played scrabble while eating up ALL the melting ice cream in the too warm freezer!  Then the second day of no power, everyone was off to work except me, and I bundled up with a blanket and a great novel, sitting near the window for as much light as possible on a gray day.  I tell you--EVERY day--even days that contain some level of hardship, pain, or loss, is still a good day for me--for I am here to experience life in all it's joys and sorrows.  

Speaking of loss, I may have already mentioned that I lost my beloved cancer buddy, Jeanie, this summer.  She lost her battle with pancreatic cancer.  As I began to grieve her loss, I read a book on grief that said that grief is the "tax" we pay for loving.  When we love someone, we will one day grieve for them, for love and loss are two sides of the same coin.  You can't have one without the other.  I am trying to lean fully into the grief while remembering that it is the price I must pay for the precious gift of so much love and friendship. 

In closing, I have been studying the book of Philippians this summer.  There is a verse I aspire to.  It is something the Apostle Paul said when he was suffering in chains in prison for sharing the good news of Jesus.  This is my prayer too, as I continue in this ovarian cancer journey.  And it was Jeanie's.  

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.  For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."  Phil. 1:20-21

Love, grace, and peace to you all,

Gabrielle

Selfie at Haystack Rock where my Mom's and Grandma's and Steve's Dad's ashes were scattered.  Very special place for us.

Renee, Daniel, and Steve hiking from Seaside to Ecola State Park.

After a long day at the beach, go to Nonni's in Seaside for their monster meatballs and spaghetti!

With Steve, my one true love of 33 years, and my rock through cancer.

Oh how I love hanging out with these three!

Steve, working on his tan in the sand dunes, where he is out of the wind.

It doesn't matter if your daughter is 27 and your son is 25.  He will still want to bury her in the sand!

Renee Dudley--the daughter I always dreamed of and love so very much!

Lucky me--a huge bowl of "nuts for coconut" ice cream with not one, but TWO fresh waffle cones!

One of life's best blessings--my dear friend Sally.  We met up for a beach walk in Lincoln City.

Never dreamed I would have a son this great.  Daniel--I love you!

And lastly, note my "Enjoy Life" t-shirt at a deserted beach in Ecola State Park.  Your assignment for the month of September:  Enjoy Life!