Dear family and friends,
Gabrielle here. I thought I would fill in a little detail to Steve's morning post below. Yesterday was a grand adventure as Daniel and I braved N-gate mall. First we went to a little shop adjacent to the mall that specializes in things female cancer patients need...like hats and scarves and prosthetic swimsuits for mastectomies. We had fun having me try on different hats and I bought three of them, along with two little light cotton caps you can sleep in if your head is cold. Every morning when I wake up I check my pillow. No hair gone yet! I'm glad my hair is stubborn! :-)
But back to the mall. We bought four new pairs of sweatpants to hang about in that feel good on my incision. In size medium. Crazy. I have been a large since about 4th grade and now I'm a medium. Not recommending the cancer diet, however. Anyone wanting to lose a pound or two, just stick with exercise and eating healthy! Then we went to the Hallmark shop so I could buy some Valentines for my family, grabbed a few See's chocolates for later, and topped it all off with lunch at Red Robin. I got a free chicken avacado burger and fries since it's my birthday lunch. I ate half and Daniel ate the rest, and we split some salad too. That was more than I've eaten in I don't know how long and was a lot of fun. Don't you love those Red Robin fries, piping hot, sprinkled with their seasoning salt, and dipped in ranch? Yummo!
In the evening yesterday we were blessed with two meals so we are eating the second tonight. Renee and Karissa made us the fish dinner (my first fish in a month) and my friend Kristi brought us the most delicious looking chili and cornbread which we are having tonight! Can't wait!
I slept well last night and woke up refreshed. I ate a smoothie with fruit and yogurt and spinach (friend Janet inspired me) and some toast topped with tomato and melted cheddar which is something my Grandma used to make for me and I find comforting. Then stuffed, Daniel and I went on our morning walk--our longest yet! I think we went 17 blocks! And the sun was peeking through clouds and warming our faces for part of the walk. Glorious!
Thanks to each of you who bring us food, send us cards (so many this week--you know who you are--thank you SO much), email us Scriptures, and pray faithfully for healing. God has provided all we need as we walk this road and you are all part of His provision for us. Thanks for coming alongside us with your love, support, and encouragement. We are truly blessed.
Love,
Gabrielle
Thursday, February 7, 2013
2/7/13 Of barnacles and burgeoning waists (mine, not hers)
Steve
Thursday morning.
Chemo tomorrow. Round three. So far, Gabrielle is weathering this week
quite nicely. The kids, along with
Karissa, made us a wonderful meal of pan-fried petrale sole, mashed potatoes
and broccoli along with cherry pie for dessert.
Gabrielle had an impressive amount, but she is still thin…almost 20
pounds down from when this all began. I
am making up for her weight loss, big time, but will soon put the brakes on
that. Still, I want to be a good example
to her, so I shovel it in. Nothing like
leading by example, right?
Daniel and Gabrielle had a nice outing to Northgate
as well…four hours. She even took
advantage of her birthday month and had lunch at Red Robin. I am so jealous!
Well, I’ll have to leave the rest of the details to
the others. I just have time for one
quick story before hopping on my bike on this blustery morning and heading off
to the salt mines (that’s where Ward Cleaver always told June he was going)…
So, now, my little aside.
On Sunday, I was booted out of the house by
Gabrielle and Daniel and told to get some exercise as I needed it. Perhaps they were sick of seeing me eating
all the treats that were supposed to be for someone else. In any event, I went down to the beach and
went for a run during low tide. It was
quite pleasant as I had a chance to find more beach glass and saw all sorts of
wonderful things: waves, birds
(cormorants, buffleheads, gulls and such), and even got a little exercise to
boot, though it was kind of hard to run and eat ginger cookies and pick up
beach glass all at the same time. One of
the delights about being at the beach is that you never know what you’ll
see. I looked the waves, the clouds as
they scudded across the sky (the poet types love that word ‘scud’, so thought
I’d throw it in just for good measure).
So as I scudded across the beach, the ginger cookies scudded down my
gullet, the clouds scudded as well. So
much for scudding.
As I ran, I was struck by a massive barnacle shell
and picked it up. At first I thought of
discarding it, as I didn’t know what to do with it once I got it back home. But as I held it in my one free hand (see
reference to beach glass and cookies above), I was drawn to it all the more and
just couldn’t send it scudding across the water like a skipped stone. So now it’s in my collection of seashells and
beach glass. Here’s a picture of it:
You will notice that it totally dwarfs the previous
biggie that I snagged a couple of weeks back.
And, no, I didn’t find the quarter.
I just threw that on the table to give you a reference as to the
size.
So, today’s aside is about barnacles. I think they have gotten a bad rap over the
years. What do you do if you have a
boat? You scrape the barnacles off. Barnacles slow you down, are crusty and
rough. I know of one dermatologist who
told a patient that all her spots and moles were just “barnacles on the ship of
life”. Patient didn’t like getting told
she had barnacles, and I don’t suppose I would either.
But take a closer look at the big one above. It has a massive exterior that shelters a
very soft organism from the ravages of the wind, the tides, the various sea
creatures that want to eat it for lunch.
When it is hungry, it opens up its hatch (gotta be a better term than
hatch, but that’s the best I can do right now) and extends its feather-like arm
into the current pulling in nutrients and even more calcium to add to the
shell. Piece by piece, the shell is
made. On any one day, you wouldn’t
notice the half dozen or so calcium bits stuck on the rim, but over time they
add up, and the soft little critter on the inside is nestled deeper inside,
safer than before.
I like shells.
They protect the vulnerable soft spots.
But unlike the barnacle, I can’t be all hard and crusty. Softness lends itself to being open and
receiving the gifts of kindness of others.
Sure, it is possible to get hurt, but I’ll take that chance. Nevertheless, there is something nice about
that barnacle.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
2/5/13 Thankful heart
Dear family and friends,
Gabrielle here. Today I have a thankful heart for many blessings. Here are some of the blessings of the last two days.
Yesterday, I received a surprise visit from my tennis friend who now lives in Arizona--Sophia. She brought me a beautiful, cheery decorative pillow that says "smile." It makes me smile just to look at it! I also received two great cards yesterday and four great cards today! Going to the mailbox is a highlight of each day!
Two nights ago I didn't sleep well and so yesterday I was dragging. But last night--I think I slept an entire eight hours! Today I have felt better and have had a good day (something I wasn't sure was possible while undergoing treatment for cancer). I awoke to no hair on my pillow, even though people say it will fall out any day now. I have enjoyed looking at my hair today to memorize it! Speaking of hair, Daniel went downtown today for a fancy haircut in preparation for his UW med school interview next Monday. He looks fantastic and just like the most handsome young future doctor you could imagine.
A huge blessing of today aside from the cards, sleep, and hair, was a lunchtime visit from my dear friends Anna and Maribeth. They brought yummy soup, two kinds, good bread and cheese, a caprese salad, and chocolate chip cookies that Maribeth's daughter, Anna, baked. I ate a lot! It was so good! Despite having lost 2.5 pounds in the last three days, I am really trying to pack the food in on the weekdays as I get past the chemo weekends. I plan to eat another of those cookies tonight after dinner. But better than the good food was the conversation and prayer with my lovely friends.
Right as they were leaving, the vacuum cleaner repair man showed up. As only God would have it, he was a very strong Christian! He saw my "chemo zone" sign on the porch and immediately asked how I was feeling, and the talk turned to God. We had much discussion about God's love and faithfulness to help us through the trials of life. Who knew that good conversation would come from a broken vacuum button?!
Another thing I'm thankful for was my walk today. Daniel and I walked about 10-12 blocks (my farthest yet) and it included going up one very steep hill by Cristwood/King's. It felt so good to be outside and to have better energy and less pain in my incision so I could walk farther. On our walk, we ran into Karen--a friend of mine from King's and my Sunday school class at church. Karen is a teacher at King's and when Daniel was in first grade, she stayed after school with him to help him learn to hold the pencil correctly so he could write more legibly. Anyway, Karen is a cancer survivor! We had a good talk about chemo and wigs and Jesus and hope. God's perfect timing for that walk!
Let me close my message of thankfulness with a beautiful prayer my friend Helen sent me today. Helen is another cancer survivor!! Here is the prayer, and for any of you who need healing of body or spirit, I hope it will speak to you as it did to me:
A Prayer for Healing
Lord, You invite all who are burdened to come to You. Allow your healing hand to heal me. Touch my soul with Your compassion for others. Touch my heart with Your courage and infinite love for all. Touch my mind with Your wisdom, that my mouth may always proclaim Your praise. Teach me to reach out to You in my need, and help me to lead others to You by my example. Most loving Heart of Jesus, bring me health in body and spirit that I may serve You with all my strength. Touch gently this life which You have created, now and forever. Amen.
Love,
Gabrielle
p.s. I forgot to mention the fantastic marijuana-themed gift basket that Anna and Maribeth brought me today. It contained a hippie wallet with a picture of a VW bus and the words "weed money" on it, hemp rose soap, a mix tape made by Maribeth's daughter of all the stoner pot songs one could think of and lots of snack foods for when I get the munchies. It was FANTASTIC!!!
Gabrielle here. Today I have a thankful heart for many blessings. Here are some of the blessings of the last two days.
Yesterday, I received a surprise visit from my tennis friend who now lives in Arizona--Sophia. She brought me a beautiful, cheery decorative pillow that says "smile." It makes me smile just to look at it! I also received two great cards yesterday and four great cards today! Going to the mailbox is a highlight of each day!
Two nights ago I didn't sleep well and so yesterday I was dragging. But last night--I think I slept an entire eight hours! Today I have felt better and have had a good day (something I wasn't sure was possible while undergoing treatment for cancer). I awoke to no hair on my pillow, even though people say it will fall out any day now. I have enjoyed looking at my hair today to memorize it! Speaking of hair, Daniel went downtown today for a fancy haircut in preparation for his UW med school interview next Monday. He looks fantastic and just like the most handsome young future doctor you could imagine.
A huge blessing of today aside from the cards, sleep, and hair, was a lunchtime visit from my dear friends Anna and Maribeth. They brought yummy soup, two kinds, good bread and cheese, a caprese salad, and chocolate chip cookies that Maribeth's daughter, Anna, baked. I ate a lot! It was so good! Despite having lost 2.5 pounds in the last three days, I am really trying to pack the food in on the weekdays as I get past the chemo weekends. I plan to eat another of those cookies tonight after dinner. But better than the good food was the conversation and prayer with my lovely friends.
Right as they were leaving, the vacuum cleaner repair man showed up. As only God would have it, he was a very strong Christian! He saw my "chemo zone" sign on the porch and immediately asked how I was feeling, and the talk turned to God. We had much discussion about God's love and faithfulness to help us through the trials of life. Who knew that good conversation would come from a broken vacuum button?!
Another thing I'm thankful for was my walk today. Daniel and I walked about 10-12 blocks (my farthest yet) and it included going up one very steep hill by Cristwood/King's. It felt so good to be outside and to have better energy and less pain in my incision so I could walk farther. On our walk, we ran into Karen--a friend of mine from King's and my Sunday school class at church. Karen is a teacher at King's and when Daniel was in first grade, she stayed after school with him to help him learn to hold the pencil correctly so he could write more legibly. Anyway, Karen is a cancer survivor! We had a good talk about chemo and wigs and Jesus and hope. God's perfect timing for that walk!
Let me close my message of thankfulness with a beautiful prayer my friend Helen sent me today. Helen is another cancer survivor!! Here is the prayer, and for any of you who need healing of body or spirit, I hope it will speak to you as it did to me:
A Prayer for Healing
Lord, You invite all who are burdened to come to You. Allow your healing hand to heal me. Touch my soul with Your compassion for others. Touch my heart with Your courage and infinite love for all. Touch my mind with Your wisdom, that my mouth may always proclaim Your praise. Teach me to reach out to You in my need, and help me to lead others to You by my example. Most loving Heart of Jesus, bring me health in body and spirit that I may serve You with all my strength. Touch gently this life which You have created, now and forever. Amen.
Love,
Gabrielle
p.s. I forgot to mention the fantastic marijuana-themed gift basket that Anna and Maribeth brought me today. It contained a hippie wallet with a picture of a VW bus and the words "weed money" on it, hemp rose soap, a mix tape made by Maribeth's daughter of all the stoner pot songs one could think of and lots of snack foods for when I get the munchies. It was FANTASTIC!!!
2/5/13 Smooth sailing
Steve
Smooth sailing…at least for now. Thankfully, not much is going on at present,
so no big news to report. Hair still where
it belongs. Appetite moderately good
(still no interest in sweets), but still battling the nausea. Pain is under pretty good control…the main
area of concern is the abdominal port. Walking
a little more each day (singing “Feeling stronger every day” while she does
it). She and Daniel even went on an
outing to U. Village where she bought four pairs of new reading glasses as the
old ones weren’t quite strong enough. No
idea why that has changed.
To borrow from that being on a sea voyage analogy,
we seem to be enjoying a few days of calm sailing, though we have already
weathered some storms and know that rougher seas lie ahead. But we’ll take it. Yesterday, Dr. Call, my practice partner told
me of someone he knew who lost all his hair at about the two week mark. Actually, he only lost the dark hair. The gray hair hung on in there for a
while. If that’s Gabrielle’s case, any
day now, she will be losing quite a bunch in a hurry, with maybe a solitary
lone gray hair up top. But we’re all set…the
wig is due in on Friday and I’ve got the clippers all set so I can get a
matching “do”.
We keep getting encouraging cards in the mail and a
few nice presents along the way. There
was another carton of fresh yogurt on the porch when I got up this
morning. Thanks, Mike! Last night, we pulled out some chicken divan
from the freezer that my patients, the Locks (getting good at HIPPA here…not
their real last name) had sent over.
Quite tasty! For dessert: ginger
snickerdoodles, which were supposed to be all for Gabrielle, but I had one
too. Worked wonders on my appetite…am up
two pounds. So, all in all, we’re “steady
as she goes”. Will probably not post for
a couple of days, till the next chemo session…unless something big
happens. That’s fine by me.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
2/3/13 Sunday
Hi Friends!
Just a quick update to say that Gabrielle has had a nice mellow Sunday. She's feeling so much better after the single dose of chemo than she did after the double dose last weekend. Her nausea is under control and she's not too fatigued. She and Daniel even got out for a walk at Richmond Beach today! Her appetite is better this weekend too--we just ordered delicious Pagliacci pizza for dinner at Gabrielle's request. We're happy to see that her weight is back up a couple pounds after she had dropped so low last week.
Gabrielle had a wonderful visit with her friend Sue this morning complete with scones and tea. Our friend Dean joined us for pizza tonight and brought a flock of cheerful origami cranes that his son Ian made for Gabrielle. We continue to feel so supported by our friends!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
2/2/13 Happy Ground Hog Day
Steve
Happy Ground Hog Day! As of this writing, I have no idea what’s
been going on back in Punxsutawney, PA., home of that famous woodchuck who is
so good at forecasting the weather. But
I can tell what we’ve been up to, in Shoreline, WA. It’s pretty quiet around here. Daniel has left for the gym. Renee has left for a babysitting gig and
Gabrielle is peacefully resting on the couch after her first big outing since
all this began. We actually went to a
movie today: Argo. It was great. Spoiler alert….nah, just kidding…I won’t tell
you about the movie, but we did indeed enjoy it. At the start, I led Gabrielle past the snack
bar and waved my arm in a sweeping motion is if I were pharaoh waving to his
people. I told Gabrielle, that she was
my princess and that as a special treat, one time only, I would buy her
anything she wanted: Dots, a hot dog (or two), “nachos” with that oh-so-tasty
fake cheese, popcorn. Didn’t get a
nibble on any of it. She just wanted to
head in to the movie. Shortly after
sitting down, she whispered in my ear, “what’s that awful smell?” It was fresh movie house popcorn two rows
back and it smelled oh so tempting (at least to me). Not to her.
She almost made us move farther away.
Yep, I guess that ol’ chemo can wreak havoc on your taste buds and the
old schnozzola as well.
As I said, things are quiet around here, but we’ve
got a rather strange sight out the window that I just have to tell you
about. It’s dark, but an eerie red glow is coming
from a 12 foot tall inflatable Santa Claus from the house across the
street. He’s all lit up as if the house
is still in the running for best Christmas décor on the block. Everybody else around has taken their Christmas
lights down. I managed that feat last
weekend in the rain. Good timing. The puzzling thing about this Santa fellow is
that, honest to goodness, he wasn’t there yesterday, nor all season for that
matter, as far as I can tell. Why’d he
show up now? That’s what I’d like to
know.
Well, I’ve got my own theory: Santa’s coming! And he just had to wait till all the hoopla
of Christmas with all its gaudy commercialization died down till he could make
his appearance and deliver the goods.
And, boy has he come through for us, once again. Take this afternoon for instance. When we got home from the movie (you sure you
don’t want me to let you know how the movie ends?), there was a wonderful meal
waiting for us from Gabrielle’s friend Karen.
Thank you so much! As soon as I’m
done here, we’re going to dive into that chicken soup, salad, homemade bread
and brownies. Can’t wait…am writing as
fast as I can.
Two days ago, we got a package in the mail. It was from Janet in California and was full
of all sorts of goodies which Gabrielle mentioned in a previous post. What she didn’t mention was that one of the
items that Janet sent was a bag of dried up green stuff. I got home just as Gabrielle had finished
chopping it up and smoking some of it. She looked rather disappointed that she was
still nauseous. To add insult to injury,
she was turning several shades of green herself. I took a look at the stuff and told her it
wasn’t the much coveted medical marijuana but kale chips. Just as well. Who needs it, when you’ve got healthy stuff
like kale and chicken soup to nosh on?
Just kidding…this is a non-smoking, non-doped up house!
I got an e-mail from a kindly patient today, N. (no HIPPA violations for me...who knows, it may not even be his or her real initial),
who sent along an Amazon gift card.
I also had a great visit with my mom today who showered me with warmth, a meat pie from the British pastry shop and hot coffee (actually didn't shower in it, that was a figure of speech). It was relaxing sitting by her fire and having a chance to just unwind. Oh, and she assured me there is no burn ban, so if the feds come, she made me light the fire, honest. Older brother John's on the other side of the state, so I can't blame him like I prefer to do. So many people have been so nice to us.
But, back to Gabrielle’s health, which is the real
reason we’re keeping this blog going.
Today’s been pretty good.
Diarrhea is slowing way down and we got a call from Dr. Sato that she
does not have C. diff, which is a huge answer to prayer. Also, since she only had one medicine in the
chemo session yesterday, she is not feeling as lousy as last Saturday about this
time. So, that’s two sessions down, 16
to go.
Now, if I can just keep Gabrielle from smoking the
rest of the kale, I think I will put some of Orville Redenbacher’s “Movie Time”
popcorn into the microwave just to tempt her a little more, gets those gastric
juices flowing…
Friday, February 1, 2013
2/1/13 Day 8
Dearest family and friends,
Gabrielle here. First of all, a correction! Yesterday was not day zero! Apparently you don't go back to zero until your 21 day cycle is up. They think of it in six 21-day cycles. So yesterday was day seven and today is day 8. Good. Got that cleared up!
Let's start with the good news! My counts were good enough for me to get chemo #2 today! And chemo #2 was only half as long as chemo #1 since it was only in my shoulder port through my veins, not the second drug in my abdominal cavity. I am so happy to have two down and "only" 16 to go!
More good news. I still have my hair. :-) As I was blow drying it this morning I said to the Lord--I'm sorry for all the times I've complained about my hair this past year. It felt like a "bad hair year" where I just couldn't style it right very often. Now I'm just glad to have it for however much longer it remains!
Other good news would be the sunshine! I loved my outdoor walk in the neighborhood today with no rain and a beautiful sunset sky. And of course, there were the kindnesses. So many kindnesses day after day from all of you. Today our friends Jan and Bill brought us homemade Vietnamese style pho soup for dinner! Fantastic and healthy! The cherry pie for dessert in honor of it being president's month today is maybe not so healthy, but delicious. I also received several encouraging cards today including one from a friend who is in her upper 80's and has recently battled life-threatening pneumonia. And she said "they say I can drive again soon and so just call me anytime and I'll take you anywhere you need to go or come help in any way." Another card contained an Amazon gift card! How wonderful for buying books for my kindle and other things I get on Amazon like ginger capsules for nausea. And a card from one of my SPU donor/friends offered to bring us Black Pearl Chinese dinner whenever I feel up for it! I LOVE Black Pearl! Each card I receive is such a blessing and is a bright spot in what can otherwise be long, dull days. So thank you all so much! Also...just remembered...I brushed with my new Sonicare from John and Sally (our "Tooth Number 4" prayer warrior) today. It's amazing! Such clean teeth! Hopefully my smile will dazzle you when you visit me. :-)
On the slightly worse news side, I am battling very bad diarrhea. Sorry to say that word in writing. Gross. It "could" be from the antibiotic I'm taking, or on the worse side, it could be a bacterial infection that is kind of bad that you can get when on antibiotics and with a lowered immune system called Clostridium difficile, or C. diff for short. So as we speak tonight, the lab at NW Hospital is figuring that out for me. Please pray that it isn't C. diff or if it is, that the new antibiotic they will switch me too will be able to kill it even with my lowered immune system. And pray the diarrhea STOPS! One other tiny spot of potentially bad news is my hematocrit--amount of blood I'm making--is 28.5. Normal range is 36-46, but my normal generally has hovered around 34 for years. If it sinks to the low 20's I may need my first blood transfusion.
Not sure what the weekend will be like. Hopefully better than last weekend which was awful. Thanks for your continued love and prayers. Am excited soon to go tear one more link off our chemo chain of days. One day at a time and God helps us through each one, sending love, kindnesses, peace, comfort, and letting us lean into His strength when ours is gone. May He bless you and hold you close today as well.
Love,
Gabrielle
Gabrielle here. First of all, a correction! Yesterday was not day zero! Apparently you don't go back to zero until your 21 day cycle is up. They think of it in six 21-day cycles. So yesterday was day seven and today is day 8. Good. Got that cleared up!
Let's start with the good news! My counts were good enough for me to get chemo #2 today! And chemo #2 was only half as long as chemo #1 since it was only in my shoulder port through my veins, not the second drug in my abdominal cavity. I am so happy to have two down and "only" 16 to go!
More good news. I still have my hair. :-) As I was blow drying it this morning I said to the Lord--I'm sorry for all the times I've complained about my hair this past year. It felt like a "bad hair year" where I just couldn't style it right very often. Now I'm just glad to have it for however much longer it remains!
Other good news would be the sunshine! I loved my outdoor walk in the neighborhood today with no rain and a beautiful sunset sky. And of course, there were the kindnesses. So many kindnesses day after day from all of you. Today our friends Jan and Bill brought us homemade Vietnamese style pho soup for dinner! Fantastic and healthy! The cherry pie for dessert in honor of it being president's month today is maybe not so healthy, but delicious. I also received several encouraging cards today including one from a friend who is in her upper 80's and has recently battled life-threatening pneumonia. And she said "they say I can drive again soon and so just call me anytime and I'll take you anywhere you need to go or come help in any way." Another card contained an Amazon gift card! How wonderful for buying books for my kindle and other things I get on Amazon like ginger capsules for nausea. And a card from one of my SPU donor/friends offered to bring us Black Pearl Chinese dinner whenever I feel up for it! I LOVE Black Pearl! Each card I receive is such a blessing and is a bright spot in what can otherwise be long, dull days. So thank you all so much! Also...just remembered...I brushed with my new Sonicare from John and Sally (our "Tooth Number 4" prayer warrior) today. It's amazing! Such clean teeth! Hopefully my smile will dazzle you when you visit me. :-)
On the slightly worse news side, I am battling very bad diarrhea. Sorry to say that word in writing. Gross. It "could" be from the antibiotic I'm taking, or on the worse side, it could be a bacterial infection that is kind of bad that you can get when on antibiotics and with a lowered immune system called Clostridium difficile, or C. diff for short. So as we speak tonight, the lab at NW Hospital is figuring that out for me. Please pray that it isn't C. diff or if it is, that the new antibiotic they will switch me too will be able to kill it even with my lowered immune system. And pray the diarrhea STOPS! One other tiny spot of potentially bad news is my hematocrit--amount of blood I'm making--is 28.5. Normal range is 36-46, but my normal generally has hovered around 34 for years. If it sinks to the low 20's I may need my first blood transfusion.
Not sure what the weekend will be like. Hopefully better than last weekend which was awful. Thanks for your continued love and prayers. Am excited soon to go tear one more link off our chemo chain of days. One day at a time and God helps us through each one, sending love, kindnesses, peace, comfort, and letting us lean into His strength when ours is gone. May He bless you and hold you close today as well.
Love,
Gabrielle
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