Memorial Speech by Steve:
Gabrielle
On behalf of my family, I would like
to thank you for coming to this celebration of Gabrielle’s life. I know that many of you have traveled great
distances to be with us today and am honored by your presence.
I am sure that it is no surprise that
Gabrielle had a hand in planning this memorial service. Her attention to detail and planning were
some of the things that made Gabrielle so successful in everything she
did. Several years ago, she wrote a
document entitled “things Steve needs to know” covering topics such as bill
paying, the name of our lawyer, and how to redeem airline miles (still a
mystery). If the situation were
reversed, my instructions for her would have just one item: garbage day is
Wednesday. That’s pretty much all I had
to worry about on the home front, as she took care of the rest.
In our early years, we carpooled to
the UW: she to the first of many highly successful jobs in development, and me
to some science lab as I pursued my first degree. We took a night class together: early
childhood development, in which she got a 4.0 to my 3.9. She loved pointing out that she beat me, and
would sometimes cite her flawless performance in the class as evidence of her
natural parenting abilities.
A while back, Renée and Daniel started
referring to us in conversations with a single name, combining elements of our
first names, just like Hollywood A-listers.
You’ve heard of Brangelina and Bennifer.
For us, it was Stabby in the singular, such as, “Stabby is going out
tonight”. I always liked that name, as
it reflected the oneness in our marriage.
Our complimentary personalities and talents were a good fit. She was my soul mate, my counselor and best friend—a
companion and fellow pilgrim on life’s journey.
The first one I shared good news with, and the one to turn to if I
needed a pick me up.
Her energy knew no bounds. She was the brains, the planning and the
energy behind our numerous trips, parties and entertaining. I often had to remind her that I was not as
young as her, but my protestations of advancing age fell on deaf ears as she
dragged me hither and yon.
Last week, I was driving along
listening to the Oldies station. There
were a couple of cheerful tunes: Girls Just Want to Have Fun and Heaven is a
Place on Earth. So far, so good. I thought of all the fun Gabrielle liked to
have, the laughter, smiles and parties.
Yes, she was always at the center of a good time. The vibe changed as Jimmy Buffet sang a sad song
about a missing salt-shaker in Margaritaville, but I held it together. However, he was downright cheery compared
with Bette Midler crooning about the Wind Beneath Her Wings. I completely lost it, blubbering along at 60
mph, wondering what had come over me.
You see, I never cry to songs on the radio. But the song struck a chord, how Gabrielle so
selflessly encouraged and supported me throughout every major event in my life,
content to stay in the shadows, with quiet humility and a “you can do it”
attitude.
And that’s the way she was with so
many others as well: encouraging people in their careers, faith, friendships
and so much more. Many people viewed her as a second mom, nurturing and
compassionate. She was a loyal friend
and loved nothing better than to get into deep conversations with them. She had the courage to stand for what was
right, even if hers was the only voice.
She took that same courage to her
cancer fight. Someone has said that when
your life is shaken, what is on the inside spills out. As Gabrielle courageously fought cancer, we
all had a chance to see what came out: faith, hope, peace and joy. Where others might become embittered and
angry, she exuded a serenity and peace that was an inspiration to all. The nurses on her care team used to fight
over who got to take care of her. Yes,
even on her dark days, her faith and “eyes on Jesus” approach shone like a
beacon.
I cannot end my little remembrance
of Gabrielle without stressing her absolute faith in her Lord, Jesus Christ and
the promise of hope that He brings. She
was a woman who clearly had a foot in each world, someone who embraced the joys
that this life has to offer, while being convinced of the glories to come. To paraphrase C.S. Lewis:
The door on
which she has been knocking all her life has opened at last. In this world all her adventures have only
been the cover and the title page. Now
at last she has begun Chapter One of the Great Story, which goes on forever, in
which every chapter is better than the one before. She is saying, “I have come home at
last. This is the land I have been
looking for all my life. The term is
over: the holidays have begun. The dream
is ended. This is the morning.”
And Jesus
beckons her to “Come further up, come further in!”
