Dear family and friends,
Gabrielle here. Today was chemo day #12 (a single, only six to go) and this has been a great day. I say that with all honesty. And I can't believe--wouldn't have ever believed--that I could say that about a day of getting chemotherapy that will hopefully save my life. It just amazes me.
I awoke a little early because I wanted to bake some cookies to bring to my doctors, nurses, and office staff to celebrate the two-thirds done marker. Daniel had made the dough last night--the most amazing chocolate chip peanut butter cookie dough. After baking the cookies and writing a thank you note to go with them, Daniel awoke, we ate our fruit smoothies and muesli and peanut butter toast, packed our chemo bag and headed to the cancer center.
When we handed the cookies and note to our two chemo nurses (whom we adore), one appeared to tear up and both hugged me. Then the one who wasn't teary pulled us aside and said about the other nurse "she really needed that today to know that what she's doing here is making a difference." Later, EVERYONE in the office stopped by our private chemo room (which they always give us due to our loud and raucous movies...and because they love us so much) to exclaim over the delicious cookies and to thank us for them. So that was really fun.
Instead of watching a movie during our three hours there today, we were on Daniel's computer planning our "chemo is over" celebratory trip! We will be going to a place we have always wanted to see in mid-June--the coast of Maine. We will be walking and swimming the beaches, eating lobsters, touring lighthouses, and hiking the trails of Acadia National Park (on the rocky coast). So it was fun to dream about the trip as we picked out our route and hotels.
After chemo, we figured we had better celebrate the two-thirds marker by eating tacos al carbon and enchiladas rancheras at Jalisco's Mexican Restaurant. Wouldn't you agree?! I had forgotten to bring a hat or scarf today and went out to lunch with all my many bald spots in full display. Nobody stared or gawked and everyone was super nice as we practiced our limited Spanish. And the food was magnificent!
When we got home, more excitement! On the porch was the most beautiful basket filled with homebaked banana bread, assorted teas, and a sweet note from my friend, Becky. We immediately made the tea and sliced banana bread which was EXCELLENT! This was so perfect for the traditional "post-chemo crash period" where I need to sit back in my lazyboy and just do nothing for a couple hours. [Oh--and I loved my great phone conversation with Becky's Dad, Chuck, this week too. :-) ]
When Steve got home, Daniel took a nap and Steve and I went for a one-hour walk and short visit to the grocery store. At the grocery store, a woman asked me if I was in treatment (I was wearing a hat) and I said yes and she asked if she could hug me and told me she was one year out from mouth cancer. We had a good chat and then another hug. The kindness of strangers!
Speaking of kindnesses, let me tell you about a few more of them this week! My mother-in-law, Abby, sent me a mystery book signed to me from the author! My friend, Loretta, brought us fabulous Greek lemon rice soup and chicken to put in it! Steve's nurse, Holly, made us homemade healthy whole wheat/date scones. Yummo! My friend, Anna, gave me a cute cotton head turban for spring! And my friend, Nancy, sent us a gourmet great box containing hand-tied teas from France in little cotton muslin sacks, ginger syrup to put in it (awesome for nausea), and outstanding almond/marzipan cookies from Italy! Oh my goodness...I have already devoured three of the cookies with the tea and ginger syrup. Unbelievably good...and unbelievable thoughtfulness from all the people I've mentioned here. And as always, thank you to all of you who KEEP sending me cards! I just can't believe that here we are, three months into this journey and you haven't forgotten me! You know who you are and I just can't thank you enough!
One two last fun things about yesterday...I was feeling so good from the blood transfusion that I went to my office to hug all my colleagues and then we went on our "hills of Queen Anne" walk over the lunch hour. I was able to make it up all those stairs and hills at a reasonable pace without collapsing for the one-hour walk. Hooray! It was SO much fun and SO good to see everyone. I miss them all very much. I also got in good hugs from my friends in another department--Sharleen and Mia. And then last night, our friends/neighbors, Laura and Jerry, came for dinner, bringing us gorgeous red tulips, and taught us to play Canasta! Some of you know the Dudleys love games so we really enjoyed learning a new one. It didn't hurt that Daniel won and I came in second. Beginners luck. Now Renee is over for Friday night dinner and we are going to make her learn Canasta. She hates games so this is taking every bit of persuasion I have ever had in asking for multi-million dollar gifts in my fund-raising career!!
I want to close with a couple of verses from Philippians: "I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy...(verse 1:3-4)" and "It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart" (verse 7). When I get a call, email, card, or gift from one of you, I thank God for you! I remember you all in my prayers and when your names come to mind as I pray, I do indeed pray with and feel joy for the blessing of your love and friendship. May God bless you this week, dear family and friends!
Love,
Gabrielle
Friday, April 12, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
4/9/13 Pink again
Dear friends and family,
Gabrielle here. Just a quick note to tell you that my pale, out of breath walking up two flights of stairs self has been replaced by a pink cheeked energizer bunny after getting two units of A negative blood yesterday. It was an ordeal to get them. We arrived at 8:30 AM and left at 2:20 PM--almost six hours!! There are many delays and protocols where various people have to document that you are getting the right kind of blood and that you are who you say you are so that they don't accidentally kill you by giving you the wrong blood. They even have to sign off that the product they are putting into you "looks like blood." It was fun watching an oncological surgeon with probably 25 years of schooling say to the nurse "It's red and it looks like good blood to me." Profound!
They also have to drip the blood into you very slowly to be sure your body doesn't reject it and that you don't get weird symptoms like rash, low back pain, etc. While we sat there all that time we did our usual--Scrabble, reading, and a movie. We watched a delightful French subtitled movie called Romantics Anonymous about two exceedingly shy people who fall in love while working together in a little French chocolate-making shop. It was very funny and sweet, and of course, made us crave chocolate. We had brought chicken sandwiches and apple slices with us but NO chocolate. What were we thinking?!
Long story short, once we got home, we put on our walking shoes and enjoyed a one hour and ten minute walk in the Richmond Beach/Innis Arden neighborhoods, half of which was uphill. What a difference a little blood makes! If you have a lot of good blood in you--think about going to donate some so someone like me can be blessed! :-)
Love,
Gabrielle
Gabrielle here. Just a quick note to tell you that my pale, out of breath walking up two flights of stairs self has been replaced by a pink cheeked energizer bunny after getting two units of A negative blood yesterday. It was an ordeal to get them. We arrived at 8:30 AM and left at 2:20 PM--almost six hours!! There are many delays and protocols where various people have to document that you are getting the right kind of blood and that you are who you say you are so that they don't accidentally kill you by giving you the wrong blood. They even have to sign off that the product they are putting into you "looks like blood." It was fun watching an oncological surgeon with probably 25 years of schooling say to the nurse "It's red and it looks like good blood to me." Profound!
They also have to drip the blood into you very slowly to be sure your body doesn't reject it and that you don't get weird symptoms like rash, low back pain, etc. While we sat there all that time we did our usual--Scrabble, reading, and a movie. We watched a delightful French subtitled movie called Romantics Anonymous about two exceedingly shy people who fall in love while working together in a little French chocolate-making shop. It was very funny and sweet, and of course, made us crave chocolate. We had brought chicken sandwiches and apple slices with us but NO chocolate. What were we thinking?!
Long story short, once we got home, we put on our walking shoes and enjoyed a one hour and ten minute walk in the Richmond Beach/Innis Arden neighborhoods, half of which was uphill. What a difference a little blood makes! If you have a lot of good blood in you--think about going to donate some so someone like me can be blessed! :-)
Love,
Gabrielle
Saturday, April 6, 2013
4/6/13 Marking time
Steve
Hi, friends. Thought I would put in my two cent’s worth as it has been a while. I have been so blessed by the depth and reflections of the other contributors to this page, that I have felt somewhat unnecessary in keeping the information stream flowing. Today’s post is about marking time. From very early on in this journey, I had to tell myself that at some point, this horrendous pattern of weekly chemotherapy sessions will indeed end.
Sometimes it is nice to have something tangible to
mark the passing of the sessions or the days.
I may have mentioned before about the paper chain the kids have
made. I am happy to report that it is
getting markedly shorter. Here is a
picture of it, draped along the banister:
Daniel’s necklace is the one with the pink and the
black pieces in the middle. These are made of red and
black coral. I know, there may be some
dissenters out there who worry that I may be ruining the reef, what with
diminishing coral supplies and all. But,
get this: last time we were in Hawaii, I
stumbled across a beach with this huge sign that said “KAPU” and waded in. I was surrounded by these massive forests of
lovely pink and black coral and started snapping them off right and left. I figured “KAPU” meant “Keep Any Pieces
U-pickup, Brudda!”, the “B” being broken off or scratched out by an annoying
tourist who can’t respect the privacy and local customs of the Hawaiian
people. There was a rather irate park
ranger standing on the beach when I got out, about as big as the famed Hawaiian
singer, Iz. He explained that Kapu meant “Stay out!”. Sheesh!
Now he tells me! I am scheduled
to be arraigned soon, so I guess I will be “marking time” of my own from my
very own jail cell in Lahaina in the not too distant future. Hope they let me take my bead necklace along
to mark the passing of the years…
Hi, friends. Thought I would put in my two cent’s worth as it has been a while. I have been so blessed by the depth and reflections of the other contributors to this page, that I have felt somewhat unnecessary in keeping the information stream flowing. Today’s post is about marking time. From very early on in this journey, I had to tell myself that at some point, this horrendous pattern of weekly chemotherapy sessions will indeed end.
When we started this whole process, it was not only
draped around the bottom rail, but was dragging on the floor. We are now more than half way to the top,
which is very exciting.
Then there’s me with my little project: macramé and beads. Gabrielle mentioned my fondness for the bead
shop. She makes it sound as if I am such
a regular customer there that, just as in the old T.V. show, Cheers, everyone
knows my name. Not quite…there still are
a couple of clerks who don’t know me.
But, I will say that I do indeed know the drill when I go in and zero in
on the beads that catch my fancy. I
decided to make some macramé ropes (though we and my people “in the know” refer
to it as sennet…that’s the plaited product) with some beads interspersed along
the way by which I can count down till the sessions are all done. Here are three that I have done:
The one with the wood and black beads is my first
attempt. I attach it to my key ring. My Catholic friends think it's a rosary. Fine. Whatever works. It is made of some sort of
tropical wooden bead to represent the dual chemo sessions and then black onyx
beads to represent the single chemo sessions.
I really wanted yew wood for the wooden beads, but got stymied in my
hunt for it. In between each bead, there
are seven knots…one for each day. I
quickly lost track of where we were, so added the little black piece at the top. It is now next to the eleventh bead and is held on with a little gold heart-shaped clip (only $1.25 at my bead
shop!). Every Friday, I advance it one
more bead. Pretty cool, huh?
Gabrielle’s bracelet is more benign: beach glass.
She said it reminds her of walks on the beach and the peace and tranquility of
the sea. I like that.
Now, these fine pieces of craftsmanship may beg the
question: how did I ever learn such intricate artistry? Well, as long as you asked, I’ll tell
you: I learned it on the Internet! Heck, that’s what half my patients do when
they want to learn about complex medical issues. They show up with reams of printouts from “mydiagnosis.com”
or “mydocknowsnuthin’.com” and show me the tests I need to order. If it works for them, it can work for me. So, I came across step by step instructions
on how to “knit one, pearl two” or something of the sort. Found them on a website devoted to crafts. It was titled “Easy projects for Brownie
troops” and was listed right alongside making a dandelion chain and emptying
the cat’s litter box. Still haven’t
mastered either of those two yet. But I’m
getting pretty good at the ol’ macramé.
Here’s my little kit of supplies, which I keep in my very own “Operation”
lunch box. You can't quite read the fine print under the big "Operation" title, but it says "Where you're the doctor". I like that part the best. Oh, and the very happy patient...
You will notice that I use bona fide hemp cord. It is strong, durable, and if Gabrielle
continues to get nauseous, she can roll it up and smoke it. The black thread serves a dual purpose. It is used in some of my projects, but is
also impressed into service to patch up my wetsuit. It seems to be getting a little more wear and
tear lately and has had a couple of new rips.
I suspect that’s due to the fact that I am still doing my part to help
Gabrielle gain weight by leading by example.
Apparently, my wetsuit isn’t quite as accommodating of my newer shape as
my “generous cut, relaxed fit spandex pants”.
So here’s to “marking time”. The light is starting to appear at the end of
the tunnel and we’re more than halfway through with the chemo. For that we are all very thankful. Oh, and just in case you want to call the
Hawaiian Department of Natural Resources or Greenpeace or Save Our Coral
Association and snitch on me, I didn’t really go around harvesting the stuff
over there. Bought it from a store on
Aurora from a guy in a trenchcoat who also wanted to sell me some Maui
Wowie. Now, how more legit can you get
than that?
Friday, April 5, 2013
4/5/13 Proof texts
Hello again. Gabrielle here.
Forgot to say, am also reading in the book of Isaiah where today the Lord was upset with women who were behaving badly and hence this verse: Isaiah 3:17b "the Lord will make their scalps bald" and verse 24 "...instead of well-dressed hair, baldness..."
Cue the music and my best Julie Andrews voice: Somewhere in my youth, or childhood...I must have done something BAD!
LOL.
Love,
G
Forgot to say, am also reading in the book of Isaiah where today the Lord was upset with women who were behaving badly and hence this verse: Isaiah 3:17b "the Lord will make their scalps bald" and verse 24 "...instead of well-dressed hair, baldness..."
Cue the music and my best Julie Andrews voice: Somewhere in my youth, or childhood...I must have done something BAD!
LOL.
Love,
G
4/5/13 Eleven Down, Seven to Go!
Dear Family and Friends,
Daniel and I always wait with bated breath for our chemo nurse to walk in and say "your counts are fine--chemo is a go!" It took two hours from 9:30 to 11:30 to hear those words today since the NW Hospital Lab was so backed up. But hear them we did! Then it took until 12:30 to actually get the chemo medicine from the Lab and we left at 2. Four and a half hours is a record for single chemo week!
A happy surprise in the middle of this chemo was a visit from Steve! He had some free time at lunch (a rarity for him) and he popped over to visit us. So sweet! We watched a movie at chemo today (as usual) called "Jeff Who Lives at Home." It was a sort of a quirky comedy/drama about a single mom and two adult sons and I really liked it. We ate cheese and crackers and apple slices while watching (popcorn smell isn't my favorite at the moment) and Daniel was once again a trooper to sit there in that little room with me for SO long. :-) Don't think we are health nazis eating our cheese and fruit and crackers. When we got home, we ate chicken teriyaki followed by Fran's chocolates.
Even with the neupogen shots (stomach shots four days last week) my white cell count is at the bottom of the normal range, so I need to be extra careful about hand-washing and staying away from sick people this week. And my hematacrit (amount of blood in my body) is very low--24.9. A normal person's might be 36 to 46. No wonder I was out of breath on the elliptical machine yesterday, feeling super weak this past few days, and out of breath with heart pounding walking up two flights of stairs. I need blood (I vant to suck your blood!!!!). My oncologist agrees and Monday at 8:30 AM I will receive two pints of blood which takes, are you sitting down--FIVE HOURS to slowly drip into you so you don't "react" to it. I think Monday will be a two movie Monday or perhaps one movie and four Scrabble games.
I am THRILLED that this week and next I won't be as nauseous (queasy only until Monday after each single chemo) so I am looking forward to enjoying meals a bit more. And today, since they filled me with anti-nausea medicine and steroids in my IV, I am hungry and Daniel is making lemon shrimp asparagus risotto for dinner. If you can get here in 1 hour, I will save you some. :-)
Because I don't get blood (i.e. energy) until Monday, I will take it easy this weekend. Tomorrow my big goal is to go to the Seattle Public Library semi-annual book sale at N. Seattle Community College where paperbacks are 50 cents and hardbacks $1. After, we will take my Mom out for pizza lunch at Pegasus in West Seattle, since we have a Groupon that expires tomorrow. Sunday morning I will go to Sunday School to hear Jeff Van Duzer (SPU's Provost) begin a two-week teaching series (which he is doing as a result of my begging and pleading). He is one of my favorite speakers of all time. If you have nothing to do at 9:30 AM Sunday, come to FFMC and hear him!
As I was reading my Bible today, I came across a verse that I had marked in the margin "my health." I had written this back when I got Lupus but now, this verse relates just as well to cancer. It is in 2 Cor. 4:16-18 and goes like this:
"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen (drugs, IV poles, nausea, feeling weak, missing work) is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
My eyes are fixed on Jesus and it is well with my soul!
Love to you all,
Gabrielle
Daniel and I always wait with bated breath for our chemo nurse to walk in and say "your counts are fine--chemo is a go!" It took two hours from 9:30 to 11:30 to hear those words today since the NW Hospital Lab was so backed up. But hear them we did! Then it took until 12:30 to actually get the chemo medicine from the Lab and we left at 2. Four and a half hours is a record for single chemo week!
A happy surprise in the middle of this chemo was a visit from Steve! He had some free time at lunch (a rarity for him) and he popped over to visit us. So sweet! We watched a movie at chemo today (as usual) called "Jeff Who Lives at Home." It was a sort of a quirky comedy/drama about a single mom and two adult sons and I really liked it. We ate cheese and crackers and apple slices while watching (popcorn smell isn't my favorite at the moment) and Daniel was once again a trooper to sit there in that little room with me for SO long. :-) Don't think we are health nazis eating our cheese and fruit and crackers. When we got home, we ate chicken teriyaki followed by Fran's chocolates.
Even with the neupogen shots (stomach shots four days last week) my white cell count is at the bottom of the normal range, so I need to be extra careful about hand-washing and staying away from sick people this week. And my hematacrit (amount of blood in my body) is very low--24.9. A normal person's might be 36 to 46. No wonder I was out of breath on the elliptical machine yesterday, feeling super weak this past few days, and out of breath with heart pounding walking up two flights of stairs. I need blood (I vant to suck your blood!!!!). My oncologist agrees and Monday at 8:30 AM I will receive two pints of blood which takes, are you sitting down--FIVE HOURS to slowly drip into you so you don't "react" to it. I think Monday will be a two movie Monday or perhaps one movie and four Scrabble games.
I am THRILLED that this week and next I won't be as nauseous (queasy only until Monday after each single chemo) so I am looking forward to enjoying meals a bit more. And today, since they filled me with anti-nausea medicine and steroids in my IV, I am hungry and Daniel is making lemon shrimp asparagus risotto for dinner. If you can get here in 1 hour, I will save you some. :-)
Because I don't get blood (i.e. energy) until Monday, I will take it easy this weekend. Tomorrow my big goal is to go to the Seattle Public Library semi-annual book sale at N. Seattle Community College where paperbacks are 50 cents and hardbacks $1. After, we will take my Mom out for pizza lunch at Pegasus in West Seattle, since we have a Groupon that expires tomorrow. Sunday morning I will go to Sunday School to hear Jeff Van Duzer (SPU's Provost) begin a two-week teaching series (which he is doing as a result of my begging and pleading). He is one of my favorite speakers of all time. If you have nothing to do at 9:30 AM Sunday, come to FFMC and hear him!
As I was reading my Bible today, I came across a verse that I had marked in the margin "my health." I had written this back when I got Lupus but now, this verse relates just as well to cancer. It is in 2 Cor. 4:16-18 and goes like this:
"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweights them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen (drugs, IV poles, nausea, feeling weak, missing work) is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
My eyes are fixed on Jesus and it is well with my soul!
Love to you all,
Gabrielle
Thursday, April 4, 2013
4/4/13 Day Before Chemo #11
Dear family and friends,
I think it is about time I check in with you all before single chemo #11 tomorrow. The main side effect from last Friday's double has been unrelenting nausea every single day this week. And also the increasing metal taste in my mouth so that my favorite foods don't taste as good as they used to. You are going to think this is crazy but I actually can't wait for chemo tomorrow because they fill the I/V with fluids and very large amounts of anti-nausea medicine so that for tomorrow, at least, I will feel a reprieve from the nausea!! Don't worry that I am wasting away because of the nausea...I make myself eat anyway and am maintaining a really good and healthy weight that's only ten pounds less than my pre-cancer weight.
Despite the nausea, I donned a dress and my wig for two important occasions last weekend. On Saturday I attended Ami and Matt's wedding, which filled me with the joy and hope of a young couple in love that you KNOW are right for one another and will have a long and happy marriage. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Then on Sunday, I loaded up with anti-nausea pills, dressed up again, and made it to church for Easter. And what a sunny, glorious Easter Sunday it was! I also managed to steal generous bites from Renee and Daniel's dark chocolate buttercream Easter eggs from See's. :-)
On the weekdays, I have made sure to get to the gym or outdoors for long walks. Yesterday was a particularly good day. My good friend, Sue, came over and we went out to lunch at the little Thai place near my house. She had the day off so we could talk at leisure without watching our watches to get back to work. It was really great. And then, to make the day even better, Steve got off work early and we went to Richmond Beach for an hour-long walk, having good conversation and collecting lots of pretty beach glass along the way. After, we hit happy hour at Hill's restaurant in Richmond Beach and enjoyed some yummy calimari and pizza.
Daniel and I had hoped to golf today, but alas, it is a rainy Thursday. Our wonderful housecleaner, Ryan, comes today (my family gets tired of my favorite phrase "I love my Ryan!") and thus, Daniel and I will hit the gym and do some errands while he is cleaning. My magnesium and calcium are low so we will pick up some supplements the doctor ordered.
I am hoping my counts will be fine for chemo tomorrow since I took four days of those stomach shots this week to bring up my white cell count. And after tomorrow, only seven chemos left! I am SO ready to be done. I miss work and the normal routine of life. I miss having food taste normal and being able to go up two flights of stairs without my heart pounding as it did last night. But I will try to be patient and to take each day as the gift that it is. If you don't learn to treasure each day from having cancer, then you've learned nothing at all! Thanks to Mike and Colleen for bringing us joy yesterday with another quart of their fresh, homemade yogurt for my daily fruit smoothies. And thanks to all of you who sent cards this week--most of which cracked me up with their jokes and or photos on the front (one was a kitten wearing a knitted hat just like one of mine...as if she were bald from chemo as well).
Speaking of hair, it's mostly all rubbed off in the back and on the sides, but about half and inch of thin hair remains on top. I like to blow dry it straight up. It kind of looks like a 50s male movie star look, which must be very weird for Steve to see when he kisses me. Ah, the unconditional love of a husband who looks beyond bad hair and scars and sees only his beautiful sweetheart. I am truly blessed!
I will close with a verse you may know well, but that Daniel embellished for me with the words you will see in parentheses: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, [NOR CANCER! NOR NAUSEA!], neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28-29
You and I are loved. What could be better than that?!
Love,
Gabrielle
I think it is about time I check in with you all before single chemo #11 tomorrow. The main side effect from last Friday's double has been unrelenting nausea every single day this week. And also the increasing metal taste in my mouth so that my favorite foods don't taste as good as they used to. You are going to think this is crazy but I actually can't wait for chemo tomorrow because they fill the I/V with fluids and very large amounts of anti-nausea medicine so that for tomorrow, at least, I will feel a reprieve from the nausea!! Don't worry that I am wasting away because of the nausea...I make myself eat anyway and am maintaining a really good and healthy weight that's only ten pounds less than my pre-cancer weight.
Despite the nausea, I donned a dress and my wig for two important occasions last weekend. On Saturday I attended Ami and Matt's wedding, which filled me with the joy and hope of a young couple in love that you KNOW are right for one another and will have a long and happy marriage. It was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Then on Sunday, I loaded up with anti-nausea pills, dressed up again, and made it to church for Easter. And what a sunny, glorious Easter Sunday it was! I also managed to steal generous bites from Renee and Daniel's dark chocolate buttercream Easter eggs from See's. :-)
On the weekdays, I have made sure to get to the gym or outdoors for long walks. Yesterday was a particularly good day. My good friend, Sue, came over and we went out to lunch at the little Thai place near my house. She had the day off so we could talk at leisure without watching our watches to get back to work. It was really great. And then, to make the day even better, Steve got off work early and we went to Richmond Beach for an hour-long walk, having good conversation and collecting lots of pretty beach glass along the way. After, we hit happy hour at Hill's restaurant in Richmond Beach and enjoyed some yummy calimari and pizza.
Daniel and I had hoped to golf today, but alas, it is a rainy Thursday. Our wonderful housecleaner, Ryan, comes today (my family gets tired of my favorite phrase "I love my Ryan!") and thus, Daniel and I will hit the gym and do some errands while he is cleaning. My magnesium and calcium are low so we will pick up some supplements the doctor ordered.
I am hoping my counts will be fine for chemo tomorrow since I took four days of those stomach shots this week to bring up my white cell count. And after tomorrow, only seven chemos left! I am SO ready to be done. I miss work and the normal routine of life. I miss having food taste normal and being able to go up two flights of stairs without my heart pounding as it did last night. But I will try to be patient and to take each day as the gift that it is. If you don't learn to treasure each day from having cancer, then you've learned nothing at all! Thanks to Mike and Colleen for bringing us joy yesterday with another quart of their fresh, homemade yogurt for my daily fruit smoothies. And thanks to all of you who sent cards this week--most of which cracked me up with their jokes and or photos on the front (one was a kitten wearing a knitted hat just like one of mine...as if she were bald from chemo as well).
Speaking of hair, it's mostly all rubbed off in the back and on the sides, but about half and inch of thin hair remains on top. I like to blow dry it straight up. It kind of looks like a 50s male movie star look, which must be very weird for Steve to see when he kisses me. Ah, the unconditional love of a husband who looks beyond bad hair and scars and sees only his beautiful sweetheart. I am truly blessed!
I will close with a verse you may know well, but that Daniel embellished for me with the words you will see in parentheses: "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, [NOR CANCER! NOR NAUSEA!], neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:28-29
You and I are loved. What could be better than that?!
Love,
Gabrielle
Saturday, March 30, 2013
3/20/13 Good Friday
Dear friends and family,
Gabrielle here. Yesterday was Good Friday and as I sat in that chemo chair for 5.5 hours, I had a lot of time to think about what Christ went through on Good Friday so many years ago. He was nailed to that cross for many long and horrible hours, enduring the worst suffering known to man, so that He could pay the price for our sins and offer us a chance to be reconciled to God and to have life everlasting one day with God in Heaven. Thanks be to God for this indescribable gift!
In contrast, I was merely hooked up to an i/v pole and made to sit in a comfy reclining chair while eating snacks and watching the movie Love Actually (and losing not once, but twice to Daniel in Scrabble). All this "not really all that much suffering" in the hope of giving me physical healing and longer life here on earth. My suffering pales in comparison to Christ's. And while I couldn't help Him with His, He helps me daily with mine.
When I arrived home from chemo, there were two gorgeous flower baskets on my porch from my friends Daryl and Elsie and Svein and Erin. Thank you all so much! Such springy happiness filling my family room! There have also been many wonderful Easter and encouragement cards this week. You know who you are. It warms my heart to open the mailbox and think that you all were thinking of me and took time out of your busy lives to stop and write cards and mail them. Thank you!
After chemo, though I felt tired, it was such a glorious sunny day that Daniel and I went to Richmond Beach and enjoyed a wonderful, rejuvenating beach walk. Something about being by the sea put us in the mood for crab salad for dinner so that's what we had. Delicious! After that, we had a herculean task. Our basement Comcast DVR is dying and needs to be replaced on Monday. So between now and then, we are trying to watch all our saved up shows that we don't want to lose. Thus, we were true couch potatoes last night and got through three of our favorite shows with Steve, and after he went to bed, Daniel and I watched two Jeopardys (to prevent chmo brain)!
I awoke this morning to fresh waffles with organic strawberries and whipped cream (thanks, Steve!!!) and more amazing weather. Thus, we are about to head out for another beach walk, hopefully from Richmond Beach to Edmonds beach where we will leave a car to shuttle us back. After that, we will have a short visit from my Mom, sister, and niece, and then I will pop strong anti-nausea pills and dress up (wig time) and head out to Ami and Matt's wedding at Greenlake.
Oh my goodness...I need to tell you the good news! My CA125 ovarian cancer tumor marker was tested yesterday (every three weeks they test it) and it dropped again from 27.4 to 15.7!!! I am in the normal range after my first nine chemos! My doctor wanted it to get under 20, and under 20 it is. The drugs are working. Cancer cells are being obliterated. Thank you Lord, and thanks to all of you for your love, support, and prayers!
On the not quite so great side, my white cells continue to suffer, putting me at risk for infections and for having my counts too low to get my chemo treatments. So today I have to start four more days of the shots in my stomach to help my bone marrow make more white cells. That's two weeks in a row I've had to do them. Oh well. It's a small price to pay to be able to fight infections and be able to receive my last eight chemo treatments! I am blessed to have not had to miss any treatments so far!
I am hoping I can make it to church for Easter tomorrow, despite Sunday mornings bringing the worst onslaught of sickness after the double chemo Fridays. At home or at church, I will be keeping my eyes on Jesus: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." He is risen. He is risen indeed. Hallelujah!
Love,
Gabrielle
Gabrielle here. Yesterday was Good Friday and as I sat in that chemo chair for 5.5 hours, I had a lot of time to think about what Christ went through on Good Friday so many years ago. He was nailed to that cross for many long and horrible hours, enduring the worst suffering known to man, so that He could pay the price for our sins and offer us a chance to be reconciled to God and to have life everlasting one day with God in Heaven. Thanks be to God for this indescribable gift!
In contrast, I was merely hooked up to an i/v pole and made to sit in a comfy reclining chair while eating snacks and watching the movie Love Actually (and losing not once, but twice to Daniel in Scrabble). All this "not really all that much suffering" in the hope of giving me physical healing and longer life here on earth. My suffering pales in comparison to Christ's. And while I couldn't help Him with His, He helps me daily with mine.
When I arrived home from chemo, there were two gorgeous flower baskets on my porch from my friends Daryl and Elsie and Svein and Erin. Thank you all so much! Such springy happiness filling my family room! There have also been many wonderful Easter and encouragement cards this week. You know who you are. It warms my heart to open the mailbox and think that you all were thinking of me and took time out of your busy lives to stop and write cards and mail them. Thank you!
After chemo, though I felt tired, it was such a glorious sunny day that Daniel and I went to Richmond Beach and enjoyed a wonderful, rejuvenating beach walk. Something about being by the sea put us in the mood for crab salad for dinner so that's what we had. Delicious! After that, we had a herculean task. Our basement Comcast DVR is dying and needs to be replaced on Monday. So between now and then, we are trying to watch all our saved up shows that we don't want to lose. Thus, we were true couch potatoes last night and got through three of our favorite shows with Steve, and after he went to bed, Daniel and I watched two Jeopardys (to prevent chmo brain)!
I awoke this morning to fresh waffles with organic strawberries and whipped cream (thanks, Steve!!!) and more amazing weather. Thus, we are about to head out for another beach walk, hopefully from Richmond Beach to Edmonds beach where we will leave a car to shuttle us back. After that, we will have a short visit from my Mom, sister, and niece, and then I will pop strong anti-nausea pills and dress up (wig time) and head out to Ami and Matt's wedding at Greenlake.
Oh my goodness...I need to tell you the good news! My CA125 ovarian cancer tumor marker was tested yesterday (every three weeks they test it) and it dropped again from 27.4 to 15.7!!! I am in the normal range after my first nine chemos! My doctor wanted it to get under 20, and under 20 it is. The drugs are working. Cancer cells are being obliterated. Thank you Lord, and thanks to all of you for your love, support, and prayers!
On the not quite so great side, my white cells continue to suffer, putting me at risk for infections and for having my counts too low to get my chemo treatments. So today I have to start four more days of the shots in my stomach to help my bone marrow make more white cells. That's two weeks in a row I've had to do them. Oh well. It's a small price to pay to be able to fight infections and be able to receive my last eight chemo treatments! I am blessed to have not had to miss any treatments so far!
I am hoping I can make it to church for Easter tomorrow, despite Sunday mornings bringing the worst onslaught of sickness after the double chemo Fridays. At home or at church, I will be keeping my eyes on Jesus: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." He is risen. He is risen indeed. Hallelujah!
Love,
Gabrielle
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