2/15/13 Another dual chemo day!

Steve

Well, today’s another one of the biggies:  a two drug chemo day, which we have all been facing with a little trepidation.  On the plus side, it means Gabrielle has successfully completed one of the six cycles and this is the beginning of Cycle 2 (yesterday being Day Zero again).  Last go round with two drugs was complicated by some leakage from her abdominal incision which won’t happen for two reasons.  The first is that her incision is all healed up, and the second is that both drugs will be administered through the portacath near her collarbone.  This is because the abdominal one is still being a bit persnickety.  Two days ago, she went in for another ultrasound of the abdominal port which also included an attempt to aspirate fluid from the area around it.  It was a long day, what with ultrasound, talking to the radiologist, then Dr. M. and the aspiration.  You might say that her aspirations were that she wouldn’t have to stay so long, and that when she was all done, she was exaspirated (just giving punster Daniel a run for his money).

But she’s most likely in good spirits, as far as I can tell.  Am not sure exactly as I haven’t seen hide nor hair of her yet this morning.  There is a strange sound akin either to the sawing of logs or a lyre bird calling from the bedroom (see Daniel’s amazing entry on birds and watch the video on the lyre bird…just not when your boss is watching if you check this at work).  A quick update on Valentine’s Day.  It went OK.  I know she said that she just didn’t feel up to going out to Canlis, but the truth of the matter is that she knows that her husband is a bit of a cheapskate and she said she wanted to stay home just to help me save face and a few bucks (though we did miss being waited on by Kyle).  We had a great dinner of baked potatos (is that how Dan Quayle spells it?) with all the trimmings and the most amazing steak from Omaha Steak Company…a birthday gift from my mom that had been just itching for the right occasion.  Dessert was courtesy of our next door neighbor, Kevin.  I don’t know what it was, but it was chocolaty and gooey and really really good.  So good, in fact, that I was only able to eat one of the three pounds of Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory Candy flown in courtesy of Aunt Peggy (oh, was it supposed to be for Gabrielle?  My bad!).

Now for a little aside.  I personally am feeling a little left out by all this talk of chemo for Gabrielle.  What most of you don’t know (and probably would rather not know…especially if you’re one of my patients) is that I have just completed a round of “chemo” myself.  As we used to do in junior high, I will compare and contrast our chemo treatments for you, so you will be fully up to speed on the goings on at the Dudley household.  Here, in table form is all the skinny:

	Gabrielle’s chemo	Steve’s chemo
What it’s for	Stage 3 ovarian cancer	Toenail fungus
Regimen	Once a week, 18 weeks…126 days overall	120 days of pills...a horribly long time for this non pill person
Means of administration	By kindly nurses accompanied by snacks, warm blankies, a devoted son, in a comfy chair	A pill hastily thrown back with nary a swig of water
Side effects	Nausea, weight loss, hair loss	Nasty taste in my mouth if I don’t swallow the pill fast enough.  Weight gain (how else can I explain gaining 5 pounds this past month?).
Purpose	To kill those nasty cancer cells	To give my toenails that “fresh from the pedicure look”
Other benefits	Tell the folks at Canlis you are on cancer drugs and you get a reservation, no questions asked.	Tell the folks at Luisa’s Mexican Restaurant you’ve got toenail fungus and they put you at a table by the dumpster and make you jump on the trash when it gets too full.
Cost	This where the Visa commercial would say “priceless”!	Ten buck co-pay
Current spokesperson for specific disease	National Ovarian Cancer Coalition: Nani E. Vinken, German TV celebrity	Nail fungus: a cartoon blob that makes that green slime on the Mucinex commercial look downright stunningly attractive
Chance of being spokesperson for said disease	Very high.  Gabrielle has the “it” factor: charisma, charm, wit, grace, beauty.	What would happen if Slim Whitman married the Flying Nun:  Slim and Nun
What happens when people find out you are on chemo	Amazing outpouring of warmth and love that is hard to fathom	The neighbors pull their cats indoors so they won’t get infected with claw fungus.

Well that’s it, folks!  We’ll let you know how round two of dual drugs goes later on.  Thanks for all your prayers, support, goodies, Oregon Dux caps (you know who youse is), candy, dinners, and so much more.  Blessings to all. 

2/14/13 Weird side effects

The doctor didn't warn me about these side effects. 

2/13/13 Birds

Hello! Daniel here!

I haven't posted in a while- as our days have been very busy... doling out medications, going on walks around the neighborhood, watching Downton Abbey, visiting our friendly medical team at NW Hospital, and shopping for wigs! So much to do every day of this cancer journey- my mom and I are beginning to wonder how we ever had time for jobs before all this began!

Well I had a thought a couple days ago that has continued to weigh on my brain and heart, so I decided to share it with all of you. Birds! Aren't these magnificent creatures?  I just love them. I like to look at birds in whatever region of the world I'm in, and I'm astounded by their beauty, their ingenuity, their sounds, and their movements.

As a biology major, here are just a few fun facts I'd like to share about birds:

Scientific classification:

Kingdom: Animalia

Phylum: Chordata

Class: Aves

Some birds are very smart! In 1970, a psychologist named Gordon Gallup Jr. developed the "mirror test", in which an animal is placed in front of a mirror and observed. If the animal is capable of recognizing itself in the mirror, it demonstrates a higher level of cognitive functioning. For most animals, they see just another animal that looks like them, which they may be scared of, or more amusingly, become infatuated with (parakeets love to do this, as did my former pet cockatiel Simon). Animals that can recognize themself in the mirror are few and far between. Some primates (e.g. chimpanzees and orangutans), bottle-nosed dolphins, humans (by 24 months of age usually), and elephants are consistently shown to pass the mirror test. This research article discusses the findings in 2008 of the first non-mammalian animal to pass the mirror test, the magpie: Research article 

Go magpies!

Another thing that has always amazed me about birds is their migration patterns. Many birds travel around the world, summering in nice places (the Pacific Northwest for example), and then returning to the warmer, lower latitudes. While some people I know in the Northwest "snowbird" by traveling to warmer locations in the fall and winter, and returning to Seattle in the spring and summer, I wonder if they would keep up this tradition if it meant walking for weeks or months to get to their winter location. Sooty Shearwaters migrate almost 40,000 miles from New Zealand to the north each year, powered by their own wings, and animal instincts. Wow! National Geographic Article 

My freshman year in college my animal biology professor Dr. Long played this clip about the incredible lyrebird. It has stuck with me as one of the coolest specimens of the animal kingdom. This bird from Australia has an incredible ability to mimick sounds of other birds. The sounds that came out of this bird seem as if someone is hitting play on a recording of various birds, and mechanical sounds. I am astounded by the variation in sounds among birds around the world. While we sometimes hate them early in the morning when we would like to stay asleep, I can't help but be pleased and delighted when walking through the wilderness and hearing a symphony of avian tones. Lyrebird

                                                     

But my favorite thing about birds, and what has been on my mind these past few weeks, is their lack of worries. I have been hearing this verse since I was a small child, but never has it meant so much to me as it does now.

Matthew 6:26 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

We have these bird feeders outside our house and little birds come by all the time, especially in the winter, to feast on seeds and suet. They get enough to eat, and they find places to nest and burrow, all without worries. I am prone to worry, as I think a lot of people are. In school I worry about grades and tests, at home I worry about doing the laundry and cooking and DVR-ing the correct shows (a big deal in my family). At work I used to worry about finishing everything in a timely manner, returning emails promptly, and keeping my bosses and clients happy. Worry worry worry, I was riddled with it. When this cancer thing started my worry went off the charts for a few days. I delved into prayer and scripture and accepted the love and support of family and friends. God reminded me that He gives me strength each day, and we are not called to be worriers. The birds don't worry and they get taken care of, and I know God values his children far more than the birds. Each day I look at the blessing of a new day, I thank God for this time I get with my family, and I ask for strength to get through the next 24 hours. Tomorrow will have new problems, so I will deal with them then.

Matthew 6:33-34 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

One last note about my mom: She is the strongest, kindest, most loving person I know (tied with my dad and sister of course!). Each day she greets me with smile and cheer. She wants to keep everyone around her happy and encouraged, dismissing her own needs and interests as less important than everyone elses. I don't know how she does it. Her humor lifts my spirits, and her generosity and selfessness is unending. She is tough and she is a fighter. She has climbed Mt. Rainer, she has birthed two children without epidurals, she has been the top fundraiser at Seattle Children's hospital for many years, she is the most-loved person I know. She is going to beat the s%@# out of cancer! I love my mom so much!!

2/12/13 Hair Loss--Phase One

Dear family and friends,

Gabrielle here.  Well, today was the day.  Hair on the pillow.  Hair in the shower.  Hair on the comb.  Hair on my clothes.  It has begun!  So Daniel and I went straight to the cheapest hair salon and had the stylist cut it SHORT!  Now as it falls out, there will be less of a mess.  It was a little sad watching her take off so much hair, but I keep telling myself it is a small price to pay for healing medicine.

Sadly, Steve and I decided to cancel our Canlis reservation for Valentine's Day.  I just can't eat that much in the evenings and am pretty tired out by then too.  Fear not, however, dinner at home with my sweetheart will be just fine...and perhaps I'll make him suffer through a romantic comedy. 

I am pleased to report that Renee and Daniel made it safely to and from Spokane Sunday/Monday for Daniel's U.W. medical school interview.  He was interviewed by three doctors and he feels like it went well.  He loved seeing the new facilities in Spokane--just built in 2010.  If he gets into U.W. and is assigned to Spokane for his first year, he will do just fine.  He raved about the awesome anatomy lab with cool spaces for four students per cadaver.  Gross!  Thank you for your prayers that God's plans for Daniel and med school will unfold in just the right way and time.

So many kindnesses that I fear I will forget to mention some since I don't blog every day.  But off the top of my mind I am thankful for good visits yesterday with my friends Doris and Loretta, and on the phone with Maribeth. And thanks, Doris, for the yummy lunch and cookbook!  We enjoyed a dinner-time visit with my sister-in-law, Tania, last night and she is doing our taxes for us (she's a brilliant CPA/MBA)!  Dee, a cancer survivor and new friend I haven't even met yet (we were introduced via e-mail through another friend) has sent me a great devotional book and two books to help me eat well through cancer.  Evy has sent me a beautiful hand-knitted blue hat.  Colleen and Mike brought over homemade yogurt and granola today.  I will eat some at my mid-afternoon snack time!  (Daniel's phone barks like a dog when it's time for my meals and snacks, and I, like Pavlov's dogs, dutifully make my way to the kitchen!)  Our friend Helen brought us the most yummy dinner--chili, cornbread, salad, strawberries, and chocolate cake! And to the card senders--you know who you are--what a joy to get mail.  Thank you all!

Lastly, I opened a card today from my mother-in-law, Abby, and it was actually a birthday gift!  Had I known it was that, I would have saved it to open next Monday, when I turn 53.  My family is frantically asking me what I want to do for my birthday.  Three days after the two-drug chemo, I have NO idea!  So we'll play it by ear and no matter what we do or don't do on that day, I will be thanking God for the gift of another day of life and the start of a new year.  And I will be thanking Him for all of you on my "rope crew," helping me climb this mountain one step at a time.

Love,
Gabrielle

2/10/13 Sunny Sunday

Dear family and friends,

Gabrielle here.  I am happy to report that my Saturday after chemo was pretty good!  Just a little nausea here and there.  In the morning, while Steve and our friend, Dean, swam at Golden Gardens, I walked up all those stairs from Golden Gardens up to 85th street.  It was the first exercise in a month where my heart pounded and I breathed hard and though I was slow, I made it! 

After exercise, Steve and I did some errands.  We bought him new swim goggles (that hopefully won't leak) and then we went to a bead store where he picked out some wooden and black beads that he is putting into a macrame string to represent each chemo treatment.  It was the cutest thing ever to see my husband as the only man in a bead store full of women picking out supplies to do his "craft!"  :-)

Then we went to the wig shop.  Unfortunately, the wig I ordered in the first go around didn't look great in the color it came in.  So I ordered another one in a bit darker color and it will be in next Friday.  I hope my own hair holds out until then.  This morning, it is still all here!

I can't tell you how precious it is to do these simple things in my Saturday.  Spending time with my husband, talking, being out and about.  I am reminded to be grateful for each new day of life and even for the ability to do the simple tasks of daily living!

Some kindnesses in my Saturday included a beautiful hand-stitched needlepoint card from a friend at church, a visit from my good friend Sue with the most wonderful dinner that Sue and her husband Steve made for us.  Chicken crepes, roasted vegetables, salad, and apple crisp with vanilla ice cream.  It was divine!!  And in the evening, Renee's friends Kayla and Dani came to visit.  Kayla had made me a box of all her favorite ways to treat nausea!!  It had lots of ginger drinks and tea, great crackers, peppermint gum, and for when I'm NOT nauseous, cookies made by Kayla and Dani.  So thoughtful and practical!

One more kindness from this weekend involved sewing.  Some of you know I'm not very crafty.  In junior high sewing class, I got a "D" on my very first project--the Mother's Day apron.  I gave up on sewing very quickly after that.  Well, one of my favorite, softest pillowcases had a bad tear in it and my good friend Anna sewed it for me and gave it to Dean to give to me yesterday.  In addition to mending the tear, she embroidered my name on it and a Scripture reference for Psalm 27:13 which says:  "I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."  Thank you, Anna!! 

Today it is a beautiful sunny day in Seattle!  Steve and I will walk along the water at Edmonds and then enjoy visits from Frank, Heather, Marti, Merle, Anthony, and Kaylah.  Then there will be time to rest (I get weary around 4 p.m.) and in the evening, Dean will join us for dinner and Downton Abbey.  Today I am indeed seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living and I couldn't be more grateful.

Love,
Gabrielle

P.S.  Steve is going to try to input a photo here of me sitting amongst some of the cards I've received!  As I have mentioned before, I love getting cards as they are so uplifting and encouraging.  We are all deeply touched by your warmth.  In the background to my left, there is a little brown bag with supplies from Fweedom (see prior post "Magic Man") along with a basket of tasty items for when I get the munchies.  Steve hopes I get the munchies soon so I can put on a few pounds.  Never been in the "must gain weight" mode before, but I'm trying.  Really I am.  Now, time for my walk. 

2/8/13 Chemo Number Three--Done!

Dear Friends and Family,

Gabrielle here.  I am thrilled to report that my blood counts were sufficient to allow me to have chemo #3 today!  It is the final chemo in the first three-week cycle.  Only five more three-week cycles to go, a.k.a. 15 more chemos.  This week was the "easy" chemo with only one drug in my shoulder port.  Next week is the awful one where I get two drugs and last time, I was sick as a dog all weekend.  But back to today...it went really well.  I was sleepy during the 3.5 hours we were there so we watched an old movie, The First Wives Club, and I drifted in and out.  Tired, we came home and I ate a tuna sandwich and some salad with a yummy ginger dressing Daniel made.  It's like the dressing you get at Benihana of Tokyo and the ginger is good for my nausea.  During chemo, they drip a lot of anti-nausea medicine into you so I don't need to take an anti-nausea pill until bedtime tonight.  Then we'll keep that up round the clock for the next three days or so.

After a bit of rest this afternoon, my good friend/neighbor, Laura, came for a visit.   She and I went on the same walk Daniel and I did yesterday--about a mile or so with a big hill.  As always, it feels so good to get outside and walk.  Then Laura came in and we talked a while longer, ate a dark choclate salt caramel, and now I'm resting again before Steve comes home.  We just put leftover lasagne in the oven.

A big prayer request concerns my abdominal port--the one by my right hip that they use every third week when they add the second drug.  It is still swollen and somewhat painful.  They believe it has swelling, weird scar tissue formation around the port, and probably a hematoma in there (blood formation that takes forever to reabsorb in your body).  The infection is gone and antibiotics stop tonight.  But it is still a problem.  They want me to try heat on it this week and next Wed., I go in for another ultrasound of it.  If they see any fluid, they will aspirate it with a needle and culture it.  But their prediction right now is they will NOT be able to access this port safely.  Both drugs will go in my veins.  It would be better for me if the second drug could go directly to the abdomenal cavity where the cancer was, so please pray the problems with this port might go away!  They can't replace it--too much risk of infection from another surgery.  Thank you for prayers!!

Blessings of today, aside from successful chemo #2--when I arrived home there was a beautiful flower basket on my front porch from our good friends, Svein and Erin-Joy, to celebrate the end of the first cycle!  Warmed my heart!  And when we got the mail, there were four more wonderful and encouraging cards!  You know who you are.  I'm not going to name the card senders in the blog because I don't blog everyday and never want to miss one.  But please know how much your cards mean to me.  One contained one of my favorite Scripture verses--Isaiah 41:10.  This is the verse that I clung to when I first got Lupus and I cling to it now:  "Do not fear, for I am with you.  Do not be dissmayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."  God has been so near and dear to all four of us Dudleys through this--our biggest life's trial.  He is meeting our needs in a million different ways each week and we see His fingerprints EVERYWHERE. 

I got a call today that my wig is in!  We will pick it up tomorrow.  I hope the color turned out o.k.  I'm most nervous about that as I had to select it from a tiny swatch of hair color sample.  But good news--my hair is still here today!  I washed it EVER so gently this morning and instead of roughly towel drying it, I just sort of patted out the extra moisture.  I blow dried it just enough to not look horrible for chemo.  And so far, it's staying in today!  :-)

Lastly, I am really hoping that I feel great next Thursday, which is Valentine's Day.  Steve and I have a reservation for the romantic Valentine's dinner at Canlis!!!  Statistically, Thursdays, the night before the next chemo, I should feel pretty good.  So I hope to rest enough that I'll have energy to dress up and do make-up and all, and then I'll pop an anti-nausea pill and head out for a wonderful dinner with my sweetheart.  We have requested Daniel's college friend, Kyle, as our waiter.  He's awesome and takes great care of us. 

Valentine's Day is about love.  Jesus tells us to love God and love our neighbor as our self.  There is so much joy and meaning in life when we are doing those two things.  And I have never felt as loved as I do right now.  Thanks to you all for your love, support, kindesses, and prayers.  I love you all back and pray for you too!

Blessings,
Gabrielle

2/7/13 More Thursday Greetings

Dear family and friends,

Gabrielle here.  I thought I would fill in a little detail to Steve's morning post below.  Yesterday was a grand adventure as Daniel and I braved N-gate mall.  First we went to a little shop adjacent to the mall that specializes in things female cancer patients need...like hats and scarves and prosthetic swimsuits for mastectomies.  We had fun having me try on different hats and I bought three of them, along with two little light cotton caps you can sleep in if your head is cold.  Every morning when I wake up I check my pillow.  No hair gone yet!  I'm glad my hair is stubborn!   :-)

But back to the mall.  We bought four new pairs of sweatpants to hang about in that feel good on my incision.  In size medium.  Crazy.  I have been a large since about 4th grade and now I'm a medium.  Not recommending the cancer diet, however.  Anyone wanting to lose a pound or two, just stick with exercise and eating healthy!  Then we went to the Hallmark shop so I could buy some Valentines for my family, grabbed a few See's chocolates for later, and topped it all off with lunch at Red Robin.  I got a free chicken avacado burger and fries since it's my birthday lunch.  I ate half and Daniel ate the rest, and we split some salad too.  That was more than I've eaten in I don't know how long and was a lot of fun.  Don't you love those Red Robin fries, piping hot, sprinkled with their seasoning salt, and dipped in ranch?  Yummo!

In the evening yesterday we were blessed with two meals so we are eating the second tonight.  Renee and Karissa made us the fish dinner (my first fish in a month) and my friend Kristi brought us the most delicious looking chili and cornbread which we are having tonight!  Can't wait!

I slept well last night and woke up refreshed.  I ate a smoothie with fruit and yogurt and spinach (friend Janet inspired me) and some toast topped with tomato and melted cheddar which is something my Grandma used to make for me and I find comforting.  Then stuffed, Daniel and I went on our morning walk--our longest yet!  I think we went 17 blocks!  And the sun was  peeking through clouds and warming our faces for part of the walk.  Glorious!

Thanks to each of you who bring us food, send us cards (so many this week--you know who you are--thank you SO much), email us Scriptures, and pray faithfully for healing.  God has provided all we need as we walk this road and you are all part of His provision for us.  Thanks for coming alongside us with your love, support, and encouragement.  We are truly blessed.

Love,
Gabrielle