1/6/19 Sunday morning update

It’s just after 6:30 and I’ll be heading out the door to go to work soon.  It’s hard to even think about work, but I need to go in for a variety of reasons.  For one, I want to be able to give the kids time alone with their mom.  She doesn’t need three people hovering over her watching her sleep, though she does like it when I am around.  I leave knowing she is in good hands.  Daniel spent the night on the floor next to her, and Renee will show up in a couple of hours.  

But I wanted to give an update before I dash off. Yesterday, Gabrielle was pretty sleepy and “out of it” for much of the day.  She continued to cough, even after she got up and tried to move about. Extent of her activity was walking down to the basement to watch TV, then going back upstairs to “take a lap” around the main floor, then head upstairs again.  She was a little confused, which was sad to see, because the previous day, she was quite alert in the hospital and had some good conversations with nurses, doctors and us as well.

As you may suspect, there is no chore list for Gabrielle.  No riding lawn mower.  No chiding her for not getting her silly tasks done around the house.  I write things like that as a bit of a defense and to try and inject a little levity, albeit somewhat dark, into a very depressing situation.  This morning the mask is off.  The truth of the matter is that she is getting sicker by the day.  Sometimes, she will rally, but the general trend is not looking good.  We all pray for wisdom to be aggressive enough to treat correctable problems such as low sodium or dehydration, while at the same time not putting her through a series of unnecessary or even harmful interventions, trips to hospitals and the like. It’s not always easy to tell the difference on the front end.  That’s where the wisdom to know the difference part comes in.

She barely eats anything.  Yesterday’s total was a few bites of waffle and then some pineapple yogurt from Menchie’s.  She was alert enough to ask Daniel to mix it with some plain vanilla when he was getting it. Drinks a little water, but not much. She has lost a lot of weight.  You get the picture.

Yesterday, I read some Bible passages to her from Jeremiah about God taking away our mourning (31:13), selections from the Psalms about God helping us when we call out to Him, and parts of I and II Corinthians about love, keeping our treasures in jars of clay and Paul’s vision of heaven that was too wonderful to speak about.  She smiled and listened intently.  Daniel played some Michael Card selections for her while he gave her a foot massage as Renee and I looked on, each working our own crossword puzzles (I finished mine, but I had Friday’s and she had Saturday’s). 

I just popped up to check on her: she was doing a lot of coughing, so I gave her a dose of cough syrup, kissed her goodbye and told her I’d be back later this afternoon.  She smiled.